retiredmartin

Not a great county for beer quality, or great pubs, outside the larger towns. So the lack of village pubs in my starting 5 in Lincs isn’t a surprise.

At a push I’d have included Winterton’s George Hogg, a classy village pub just north of Scunthorpe that’s added Bass since my visit, but that was 15 years ago.

So let’s start in the county town.

This is tough. You have to have a Lincoln pub, preferably at the top of that steep hill called, um, Steep Hill, but the Victoria has had a chequered few years and the Morning Star lost its Bass and the promised micropub in the crypt of the Cathedral never materialised.

So I’ll go Strugglers.

Lincoln – Strugglers

Just a classic boozer at the top of the hill, full of the best of folk, and the best of the beers you’ve heard of (a cool, chewy Landlord, NBSS 3.5). Somewhere between the City Arms and the Hare & Hounds, I said.

“But the beer is secondary. The banter between landlady and regulars! The noise ! The colour ! The Jeremy Clarkson books !“

“A chap drinking Lilleys Rhubarb Cider joins me at my table (for one) and starts to talk about Sigmund Freud in a serious tone.“

And I want that to be able to happen, like it did in that rather maligned place in Hull recently. Some folk prefer to be left alone, and there’s a Brunning Price for them (possibly not in Lincs, mind).

Down the A15 and across to the second most visited town in the county (unless there’s been a surge in Grimsby tourism since my visit).

Stamford – Danish Invader

You were expecting the Jolly Brewer, weren’t you ? Or the Tobie Norris, or the Spoons.

But you haven’t really done pubs until you’ve been to an estate pub in the Peterborough CAMRA branch. No, really, Greater Peterborough does estate pubs (and beer festivals) better than anywhere, even if they’ve ditched the cask John Smiths in the last decade.

Anywhere north of York the Danish Invader gets in the Guide with its award-winning Cornish beer and local guest, but you’re really here for cricket on the big screen and Old Boys coming and going through these original 865 AD doors.

Oh, and you know you’re in the Midlands when the Billy Ocean track is this one,

rather than “Red Light Spells Danger” (Yorkshire) or “When The Going Gets Tough” (the South).

Right, let’s head towards Hull,

Barton-upon-Humber – White Swan

but stop on the south side, in lovely Barton, home of the last wife sale (she fetched the equivalent of 3,588 blog views, Mrs RM).

The “art” in the Gents at the White Swan suggests some progress from 1847. Perhaps.

A great UK town, home to lovely people, and a warm and welcoming GBG regular.

On my third visit here we shared intelligent political conversation and strong beer with most of those people,

including a chap called William Shakespeare from Warwickshire. Yes, HIM !

A great cask pub that wouldn’t be out of place in Stockport or Kelham Island, though I still have my reservations about the rare 1970s “four at a time” dartboard.

OK, let’s go to the seaside (actually, is Barton the seaside ?).

Skegness – The Vine

Because you can’t ignore the pull of the Lincolnshire seaside on East Midland and South Yorkshire holidaymakers, though the Vine is a rather different beast to Skeggy’s budget guesthouses.

“Mrs RM and I stayed here on the eve of the millennium before I rushed home to Harperbury Hospital as on-call officer for the Year 2000 Bug.  Ah, memories. The great Roger Protz was staying there too, and our six month old son howled through the Prawn Cocktail before we called it quits.”

Now, it’s an old fashioned Best Western with a proper public bar, selling more Bateman that the rest of Skegness pubs put together.

Classy, but fun.

Our last pub is fun, but not classy;

Grimsby – The Rutland

Actually, I wondered if it might actually be in Cleethorpes, like Grimsby Town, but it’s just west of the black dividing line that no doubt means so much but so little.

Winner of the “Unprepossessing approach to a new Guide entry 2021“, as voted for by GBG tickers,

the Rutland is everything I look for in a public house.

Comfy seats, warm welcome, fantastic cool, foamy beer (Old Mill, NBSS 4.5, £2.50). We’d just been let back inside pubs after that second (or was it third ?) lockdown, and the joy was palpable.

“I often tell you about magic moments in pubs. This was a magic, magic moment.”

And if you want craft you’ve got Dock Beers just up the road.

Right, over to you for a sixth. Preferably in Grantham. Where did Maggie drink ?