I’ve just had five (5) pints in Derby, four of lovely Bass, so according to MumsNet I will probably become a mass murderer as no-one who drinks more than a half pint in 4 hours is to be trusted.

Talking of MumsNet;

Curry on toast ! Who’s the madman here ?

Anyhow, back to late July, when I was pubbing in Cerne Abbas.

Cerne (pop. 820) is an irritating place for tickers. The Giant is the third different GBG entry, after the Royal Oak and New Inn.

But it’s also a little gem, and we should never take our little gems for granted.

So, the Giant (aka Red Lion) deserves its day in the GBG sun, despite an unconvincing beer range

and a clientele who have clearly never been in a pub (any pub) before.

A chap in braces takes 27 minutes to decide what he wants, and 27 minutes to find a card that works. Meanwhile another couple take 27 minutes to park their bikes down the alley leading to the garden.

Did this used to be the Red Lion ?” they ask, as if to explain their sloth-like parking.

I nip in and get a half of Adam Henson Rare Breed (a cool 3+), and drink it before they’ve finished applying their chains and asked (unepectedly) for a Kir Royal.

A bloke comes in and asks “Are you showing the women’s football ?“.

“No” is the response, in the pub least likely to show any sporting event, ever.

Good for you, I think. When your pub sign is a giant dongle, that should be enough for anyone.

6 thoughts on “A GIANT DONGLE

  1. When did food stop having “consistency” and start only to have “texture”?

    I haven’t yet come across woodchip wallpaper-wrapped prawns, or pebbledashed jumbo sausages, but there’s a first I expect.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. A few years ago, I had a nice chat with the bursar of Sherborne School in there, who told me about the Russian pupils whose sinister fathers turned up to pay a whole year’s fees out of suitcases full of cash.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. “Giant Dongle” is the title of the local branch magazine.
    The British Library don’t want them ( though I have sent them several hundred others ) so they’re going in the paper recycling.


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