I’ll get no commission for plugging Ashton Court in Exmouth, unlike my lucrative deal with Pipers and Stabilo Boss (must compare notes with Si; does he get more for the green marker than the pink).

But I know how keen you’ll be to stay in the same places as me when you complete the Official Retired Martin GBG Completion Trail on your next holiday.

And you MUST stay in Exmouth.

OK, it’s not quite as great as it was 20 years ago when the Bicton Inn prompted me on departure to say “Blessing on your house, you serve good Bass*”.

But there’s lively, and I mean lively, pubs, some gorgeous seaside, and the Silver Sea House provided the best Crispy Beef and Singapore Rice since you-know-where. (Just don’t go large).

I rarely stay in traditional seaside hotels like the Ashton,

but I managed to get an unwanted single room on a weeknight while alternating between campervan and B & Bs on my Devon Tickathon, and the sun shone on the righteous in their private garden.

Show us the gentlefolk in the bar, then” you ask.

Odd arrangement, all the seating round the walls. Do they expect the octogenarians to hit the dance floor later ? They seemed content to sip pineapple juice and stare out over to Dawlish.

The bar seemed to be frozen in time. No cask, although the Babycham may have been on key keg.

Clean rooms (until I ate my Chinese takeaway later), good WiFi, and wonderfully cheery staff who had never seen anyone under 70 before.

And this was the bleary-eyed view from my window in the morning.

And you can open the window fully too, unlike in a Premier Inn.

I’d skip breakfast, though.

Quite how seaside hotel coffee can be so undrinkable in 2022 is one of life’s enduring mysteries.

*The barmaid was bemused, I can tell you.

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