TAX RETURNS

Don’t panic; you’ve still got 13 hours to get yours in.

The Inland Revenue just let me off doing mine after I gave up claiming travel to tick GBG pubs was a deductible expense and my tax affairs became rather simpler. That leaves Mrs RM and my 19 year old barber to do theirs, if my lad ever gets his unique taxpayer reference so he can declare his income before Lockdown. I suspect they owe him money.

Nowadays my monthly returns are rather more important.

Here’s an extract from the Giant 2020 Pub Spreadsheet I was spurred to complete after reading Duncan’s daring-do this week.

No, I don’t understand the mysterious +10 in January 2020, either; I’ll ask him when I see him.

My January 2020 was rather splendid;

Yes, 103 pub visits in 31 days a year ago. 67 of those were new ticks, as I’ve told you already. Keep up.

Before I signed off the January return, I cross-checked my 3 data sources; Google Maps timeline, 2020 diary* and this blog. There was an element of controversy on the 31st.

Google tells me I spent 14 minutes in the Wych Elm in Burntwood; I even have the photo to prove it.

But I KNOW I left before I ordered, as the lunch option looked so poor.

Instead I ended up a mile or so down the road in bucolic Brownhills, where the Sizzlin’ Smithy’s Forge offered less blue overall and flat cap but better banter, as

Two ladies, toddler in tow, sank pints of Stella and Strongbow and compared plans for Friday.

“I’m doing the tax return”

“I’m having sex”

I miss pubs.

*I have a 2021 diary that cost 69p from Asda. At the moment it’s the worst 69p I’ve ever spent.

13 thoughts on “TAX RETURNS

  1. A point of pedantry, but you have 28 days, 10 hours and 15 minutes to complete your tax return, as I understand the deadline has been extended. However, if you were to submit after 31st January you would need to pay the interest on any tax payment.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re right, no penalties till end of February but if you think you owe anything, bung in your best estimate to avoid too much interest.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. But your Good Beer Guide returns have been delayed indefinitely. Swings and roundabouts. Struggling to think of the worse 69p I’ve ever spent but may have been some pig’s trotters that hid in the fridge and were not rediscovered until they had turned green.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Pigs trotters and smoked eels sound far more Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall, than Delia Smith!

        Like

  3. “Don’t panic; you’ve still got 13 hours to get yours in”

    Pfft. In Canada we have till April 30th (the US has till April 15th).

    “I suspect they own him money.”

    Owe dear boy, not own.

    “67 of those were new ticks, as I’ve told you already. Keep up.”

    Ah. That was one of my ‘weird periods’.*

    * not to be confused with non binary, non gender, non periods. 🙂

    “I even have the photo to prove it.”

    Pfft. So did Area 51 and the Loch Ness Monster. 😉

    ““I’m doing the tax return”

    “I’m having sex”

    I miss pubs.”

    I’m assuming ‘pubs’ is a misspelling of ‘pubes’. 😉

    Cheers

    Liked by 1 person

      1. “I suspect they own his money. ;-0”

        (slow golf clap)

        Serve me right for trying to be witty after downing God knows how many 9.1% IPAs.
        (I really need to stock some beers that are lower in ABV)

        Cheers

        PS – RE: ‘lost months’; the upside of being away for a bit. 🙂

        Like

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