RULE BRITANNIA

THIS Britannia;

Yes, for a 77th successive year the good folks of Isle of Portland CAMRA give us GBG tickers a new Proper Pub. Where do they find them ? And can they send some to Cambridge ?

Looks like South America on the aerial map, doesn’t it ? But it’s MUCH more lawless than Columbia, and I’ve watched Narcos.

Of course, the couple who come here to stare at Chesil Beach or pretend they’re Olympic windsurfers in the harbour never actually make it past the pebbles,

to the gritty towns of Fortuneswell and Easton like your ticking heroes.

And if they did they’d wonder why someone had stuck a bit of Gillingham or Gravesend next to their holiday cottage.

One year it’s the Royal Portland,

the next it’s the Social Club, and then the New Star Inn with its world class collection of standing blokes.

IMG_20180408_170601.jpg

No standing blokes in the Britannia this year.

Apart from the barman and the bloke being served at the bar, which some Dorset pubs really don’t like. The barman actually seemed pleased to serve me.

I felt like I was in Pub Heaven again, after quite a bit of licensed restaurant Hell, and my heart soared as I saw a choice of one.

One Proper beer, mind.

Nice and tasty and dry, a decent NBSS 3, though it didn’t scream “GBG pub”, with Carling and pink Gordon’s Gin the craft of choice.

It did scream Proper Pub, from the hooks on the bar to the dog biscuits discussion to the frankly tinny R’n’B to the blow-up doll behind the bar to the “Portland Youth in minor cup delight” press cutting.

Weirdly, the hand drawn map in the Gents shows the Orkneys and Shetlands sliding down the east coast. Give it a year and they’ll be at Harwich, which will make ticking Kirkwall a doddle.

I walked down to the pebbles (posh seafood restaurant there now) and enjoyed my annual 10 minutes at the seaside, considering a walk around the coast for 0.1 seconds.

What a lovely place. Why can’t it all be like this ?

17 thoughts on “RULE BRITANNIA

  1. The “old gits” in that top photo, look a right miserable bunch. Is that what comes from living on a massive lump of rock, that sticks out into the English Channel?

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  2. “Looks like South America on the aerial map, doesn’t it ? ”

    Or, if you squint, the Florida keys.

    “and I’ve watched Narcos.”

    You’ve mentioned that so much I may have to add it to my Netflix list.

    “and then the New Star Inn with its world class collection of standing blokes.”

    I’m at a loss for words.

    “One Proper beer, mind.”

    (slow golf clap)

    “to the blow-up doll behind the bar ”

    What? No picture?
    (my darling wife has been gone now for almost a week!)

    “Weirdly, the hand drawn map in the Gents shows the Orkneys and Shetlands sliding down the east coast. ”

    Naw. That shows how COVID spreads when you sneeze without putting your nose into your elbow. 😉

    “considering a walk around the coast for 0.1 seconds.”

    Was someone trying to build a raft in the photo below?

    “What a lovely place.”

    Can’t argue with that!

    “Why can’t it all be like this ?”

    It can’t be lovely if there’s nothing to compare it against. 😉

    Cheers

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  3. If Shetland really was where that map puts it, we wouldn’t get the benefit of the Gulf Stream and we’d be bloody freezing. Leave it where it is!
    That looks like a great pub though.

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  4. I remember Simon’s report of Portland as we were in the vicinity it the same time (Weymouth ), a strange place& Weymouth should be so much better !

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    1. I remember you telling us about your close shave with Simon, Pauline. Luckily we’ve installed a tracking device in Colin the Cauliflower so we know if BRAPA is approaching. Clearly Citra didn’t have his device switched on when he bumped into Simon in Croydon.

      Liked by 1 person

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