“Pubs do not book tables. Restaurants do.”

Or “Hall & Woe (public) house“. But that’s a bit convoluted.

As mentioned, I’d picked Dorchester for my campervan stop so I could moan about another county town. It was also not far from Martinstown, which had a Guide entry I never got to due to duff opening times and was dropped in GBG20.

Dorchester has been disappointing over the years, a mixture of micropubs, overrated free houses and the worst Spoons in the Kingdom.

Here’s that undrinkable Elgood’s Meerkat head in full.

img_20190613_101125326111398845904058.jpg

No, I didn’t go back to the Royal Oak to see if the Doom Bar scored a 4. I was too excited by the Duchess of Cornwall in Poundbury, the suburb built in the ’90s by Prince Charles using only organic crackers and Deeside mineral water.

I’d never pounded the lovely streets of Poundbury before,

But I shall have to again.

They wouldn’t let me in.

Having waited 5 minutes to be waited on, the charming young man, probably 76th in line for the Crown, asked;

What name are you booked in under, Sir“. Don’t call me Sir, I’m a prole.

I just wanted a quick drink please mate ?”

“I’m sorry we’re bookings only Sir”

Not even a drink on the (empty) outside tables ?

The outside area is closed Sir“. At 6.30pm on a gorgeous August evening.

I’ve had to turn away loads of drinkers”, he said, apologetically, as I turned away.

Well, that’s £2.10 on a half of Badger you’ve lost, for a week anyway.

To be fair WhatPub does say “You’ll need to book in advance, either online or via the phone, for all food and drink visits”, so it’s my fault.

But as the estimable P. Edwardson Esq writes on Discourse, Pubs do not book tables. Restaurants do.

24 thoughts on ““Pubs do not book tables. Restaurants do.”

      1. It’s going to be well weird this year. The desperation to get us buying s**t we don’t need, where on earth is that going to take us, a Rishi ‘Buy Owt To Help Out’ scheme? As for socially distanced work do’s, ZOOM’s day has really come. Who’s got the most intellectual tree for a backdrop…

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      2. If you can, listen to the start of Tom Swarbricks Tuesday night show on LBC, reflecting on how working from home may address the imbalance between cities and towns. It’s one of the greatest 5 minutes ever broadcast.

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  1. A sad story of pandemic pub booking taken to extremes RM. made worse by gratuitous over use of the term ‘Sir’ – which of instead of being respectful tends to make rejection so much more humiliating.

    Still not everyone can claim to have been excited by the Duchess of Cornwall in Poundbury – that should cause controversy amongst the Royalists… 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Never had a decent pint of H&W in a pub anyway, so I doubt you missed much. They’re a bit like Arkells in that regard: modernisation means yet another golden ale blander than the regular BBB.

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      1. Never known you to drink a decent beer, sir. And we certainly didn’t come here to read your thoughts on decent beer, either. Stick to what you’re best at – Doom Bar, with an NBSS rating of 3.5.

        Liked by 3 people

  3. “It was also not far from Martinstown”

    Your namesake!

    “Dorchester has been disappointing over the years”

    In the OS map above they certainly have a penchant for ‘Winterborne’.

    “Here’s that undrinkable Elgood’s Meerkat head in full.”

    That looks like something in a sewer pipe.

    “the suburb built in the ’90s by Prince Charles using only organic crackers and Deeside mineral water.”

    Blimey. That’s right up there with your ‘eccentrics’ over there building whole cathedrals out of matchsticks!

    “I’d never pounded the lovely streets of Poundbury before,”

    (wisely keeps mouth shut)

    ““The outside area is closed Sir“. At 6.30pm on a gorgeous August evening.”

    Bloody hellski. That’s topsy turvy. Folks in London might have a reason to be concerned, but it seems the farther away you get from the there, the more frightened folk are! (sheesh)

    Cheers

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m up to date since I ‘returned’. Not sure if I’ll get time to go over the entire retinue of what I missed!

        And, with that said, I may be slow in replying for the weekend. My wife flies back today after being away for a week at a sister’s wedding ‘oop north’. We may take a few days to ‘catch up’ as it were. 😉

        Cheers

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