PORTLAND SOCIAL CLUB – THE DIFFICULT SECOND ALBUM

sdr

Our Sunday entertainment concluded on the sceptered Isle of Portland, a 90 minute walk from the Wyke Smuggler.  It would have been an hour if we’d stuck to the path, rather than the sand and pebbles, but where’s the fun in that ?

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Pebbles – no fun for Mrs RM’s high heels

Here’s a delightful bit of OS map.  Note how the straight lines out at sea delineate the Craft exclusion zone.

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No sign of the Isle of Wight

I’d characterise Portland as Sheppey with pebbles.  Which means it’s interesting and unpretentious, and unscathed by gastro pubs.

So you’re greeted by a fun fair at the foot of the hill that leads to the prison.

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I didn’t win a goldfish

And the shops sell things you need, like this model of Noel Edmonds.

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Noel

The villages are gritty rather than pretty,

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Gritty

but I find the stonework attractive.

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Pretty

As Mrs RM would tell you, the streets leading up from Chesil Bay to Fortuneswell, the “big city” here are very STEEP.

Mrs RM really didn’t want to walk up the hill to Portland Social Club (aka Royal British Legion). And I’d be lying if I said the austere exterior won her over.

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Austere

With more folk on the smoking step than inside, she needed some bribery to be persuaded inside (“I’ll get TWO packets of crisps“).

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Traditional Social Club furnishings

But you won’t get a warmer welcome in Dorset, or a cheerier bunch of locals.

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BBB

A pint of Exmoor, a soda and two packets of crisps were £4.40.  In Dorset.  I would pay double for that exact combination a day later.  Clearly the money they save from using basic but comfortable furnishings is used wisely here.

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Bargain

My notes on the Exmoor say “Excellent. NBSS 3.5.  Who’s drinking it though ?”.

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Scum

It was a jolly 20 minutes, despite the irritation of the Chelsea v West Ham match no-one was watching.  If you haven’t got takers for Chelsea v West Ham I suspect you don’t need Sky.

Instead, folk were chatting to their partners, or playing snooker against them, albeit badly.

It felt like a backstreet South London pub, and I can’t say fairer than that.

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19 thoughts on “PORTLAND SOCIAL CLUB – THE DIFFICULT SECOND ALBUM

  1. “rather than the sand and pebbles”

    What bloody sand? 🙂

    “I’d characterise Portland as Sheppey with pebbles.”

    Sheppey has better scenery.

    “So you’re greeted by a fun fair at the foot of the hill that leads to the prison.”

    I think that’s deliberate. Where do you think they get most of the carney folk to operate the rides? 😉

    “Noel”

    Pfft. That’s just G. I. Joe with a beard.

    “Traditional Social Club furnishings”

    Yep. You could say the inside is just as austere as the outside.

    “Bargain”

    Quite! (thumbs up)

    Cheers

    Like

    1. Whereas a climbing friend of mine characterises Malta as “basically just Portland with better weather”. Although he’s someone who pays more attention to limestone cliffs than to religious architecture.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m surprised no-one’s mentioned the Piddle pump on he bar, or is that a bit too obvious?

    ps. The locals look enthralled by the whole experience. Are people born and raise on Portland, similar to those from Sheppey?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “I’m surprised no-one’s mentioned the Piddle pump on he bar, or is that a bit too obvious?”

      Believe me Paul, I gave it serious consideration for a bit. But for some unfathomable reason, decorum won out. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. This one really gives me a sense of what social clubs can be like, with the simplest of tables and stackable chairs. I get the feeling of a “multi-purpose” space, where everything can be cleared away and rearranged when needed. Is that a framed photo of the queen?

    Liked by 1 person

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