It’s unforgivable, I know, but I still get Dumbarton and Dunfermline mixed up.  The former is the west coast mecca of real ale that Tandleman writes about, the latter the only thing between you and the east coast joys of Glenrothes, of which more too soon.


Anyway, I started at Edinburgh Waverley, where I failed to find the new Spoons but did enjoy the challenge of upgrading my Scotrail ticket so I could stop off in Dunfermline on the way to Kirkcaldy. By going to Glenrothes.  It turned out to be 50p badly spent.


I’m leaving Edinburgh to Mrs RM to blog about the capital, though.

So Dunfermline.  A solid, stately town, attractive in parts, particularly on the walk through comely Comely Park and towards the Abbey.

Odd street art
Comely Park houses
Abbot House

The Spoons is particularly impressive, even if it lacks a mobility scooter outside.

Giant Spoons

That’s outside the Café Nero, but then Café Nero are the most authentic modern coffee chain.

Always a good sign

It’s quite a hilly town, with lots of rows and closes to get lost in.

A view to the hills

At the end of one, I came across the tragic news that I’d just missed Bobby Davro playing Beauty in “Beauty and the Beast“.  Not to mention the Bay City Rollers. They really do get cutting-edge entertainment at the Alhambra.


Anyway, thank goodness for Stonegate and their 11am openers.


The East Port Bar was ready to greet me on the dot of 11am with its “range of beers, typically from Born in the Borders Brewery, Orkney and Timothy Taylor

Beer you’ve heard of

I know I bang on about sticking to proper beer, but why (oh why) do Scots drink English beer when they’ve got such good ale themselves.  Take back control, Scotland.


The East Port is a typical open town pub with three other Professional Drinkers at 11am, a fine welcome, and decent (NBSS 3) Landlord at £3 a pint.  Can’t argue with that.

Decent lacings

An air of melancholy was in the air. Whether that was due to Sky TV’s Premiership coverage or a rare playing of this Echo & the Bunnymen classic, I couldn’t say.

But the mood brightened as the Landlord’s long-lost son turned up, unexpectedly, to give his mum an Easter hug. When I say long-lost, I mean he was at University in Dundee, which is much the same thing.  A touching moment, a nice pub.

So was the Commercial, a more traditional boozer, but one that was mopping up the early lunch trade.  If I have to compare it to an English pub, then this is the Scottish equivalent of Lutterworth’s Unicorn; an attractive down-to-earth town boozer with unexpected cheap food trade.

Classic entrance

A symphony in brown, the nicotine-drenched walls covered in history.  Yet another Scottish winner in a week full of them.


A more exciting beer range, with something strong from Loch Leven proving a good but inadvisable lunchtime choice.

Pick the weak one, retiredmartin !

The chilli and plaice & chips bargain lunches brought in the jumper brigade, giving the place a warmer character than it might have had if just catering to boozers.


On the down side, they were playing “Fix You” by C******Y, which apparently isn’t yet a criminal offence under devolved laws,

















  1. You’re lucky, you avoided the brewpub by a street.
    Commercial has been the best bar in Dunfermline for years, although there is a weirdly entertaining little Goth bar beside the cathedral. Not short for Gothenburg in this instance.


  2. “but I still get Dumbarton and Dunfermline mixed up. ”

    I still get Kelowna and Kamloops mixed up. About two hours apart by car. One’s on a big lake and the other’s on a major highway, but I still get them muddled up.


    Beside a Masonic Lodge. Mayhap they have a bar just like the one in Hawick?

    “A touching moment,”


    “Yet another Scottish winner in a week full of them.”

    You’re on a roll. 🙂



      1. Pfft. We also have Chinguacousy, Kananaskis, Okotoks and Wetaskiwin.

        Of course, we have good old English names as well, like Dildo, Ball’s Falls, Crotch Lake and Big Beaver. 😎

        Liked by 1 person

      2. “Were they all named by Englishmen ?”

        They certainly weren’t named by our French-Canadians. 😉

        “Alright, alright, calm down.”

        In my defense, my better half had major surgery (not once, but twice!) two and a half weeks ago. You can see why I get easily excited at present. (rolls eyes)

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Much better Martin, thanks. She still can’t lift anything heavy for another few weeks so I’ll still be doing the shopping (we went together Saturday morning @ 7:15am!). Hopefully the catheter comes out Monday and the stent comes out the following week.

        But she’s well enough to start cooking and baking again in short spurts. Here’s a birthday cake for someone who can now legally drink (and that’s their favourite beer):



        Liked by 1 person

      1. The beer is just meh. Went once just after it opened, the problem is in the production, they were kept OK but, whilst not exactly Donnington, not exactly nectar either. If I want a decent old-school brewhouse in Scotland then Sauchie and Pitlochry offer far better options.


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