“Would You Like Me To Tie Your Shoelaces Up For You ?”

Last Thursday I still had no Beer Guide, but I did know some of the entries because a nice chap (let’s call him Teddie Misthut to preserve his anonymity) had told me and copied a few pages on the Dark Web.

Most strikingly, we have a new entry in east Sheffield. Who even knew Sheffield had an east ? Isn’t that Rotherham ?

The X5 bus was virtually invented to whiz you the 14 minutes from the station to Handsworth on the edge of Orgreave Colliery. Or you can call a stretch limo to pick you up like Sheffield Hatter will (that’s the verb not the name).

People who bothered to read this blog in the dark days of Lockdown will know I walked the whole of Handsworth, and suspected the Chantry might grace the Guide.

I actually wrote “Beautifully located in the church yard, it MUST be a bet for the GBG. Chantry never let you down, so they ?”.

Well, the church hasn’t changed, still gracing the holy ground on which the pub sits,

but the group of moody teenagers who blocked my photo had left, presumably to celebrate the Chantry‘s GBG debut.

What a pub this is, a third multi-roomed Chantry classic to join the Cutlers and the New York Tavern.

Great welcome from the landlady (?) and half a dozen regulars, and Rose Royce on the radio.

Ooh, that Stout look good.

Mrs RM shouts across her order for crisps and settles back in the bench seating while I take a call from Matthew at CAMRA who is in charge of resolving the Case of my Missing Beer Guide, which he gets despatched for me there and then. I always said people called Matthew were sound.

I return to find Mrs RM engaged in chat with the Old Boys who clearly think she’s been deserted again, and I worry she’s broke the embargo and told them they’re in the Guide, but the CAMRA hit squad don’t break in so I think we’re OK.

The chatter is so loud Shazam is stretched to identify Carly.

The Stout and Pale, all a straight £3, are superbly cool and chewy (NBSS 3.5+), and the chap next to me loudly confirms “this is the best beer in Sheffield” so the landlady can hear him. Nearly all the sales were cask.

It might be, it might now, but it’s quite superb and a lot less cerebral an atmosphere than a few specialist beer houses I find painfully quiet.

If I drew a word cloud it would feature “Woke up drunk”, “Not a barm”, and “face full of curry” prominently, which you might expect, and “Didsbury“, which you might not.

Mrs RM had a second pint while I was resolving CAMRA Direct Debits, and as she got up to leave the lovely chap next to us offered to do her shoelaces up for her. You don’t get THAT in Brunning & Price.

5 thoughts on ““Would You Like Me To Tie Your Shoelaces Up For You ?”

    1. Me too, Pauline. We’ve got a corker on the steep hill near us in Sheffield. My only concern is that some of them might be decommissioned and retained by houses as period features and my post will get stuck there for centuries (not that I ever send any mail).

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      1. Is that an Edward VII mark on that post box? he only reigned for 9 years so those are relatively rare I think, but once you start noticing them, it becomes like pub ticking 😉

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