I spent literally minutes trying to find a Fall track for this post, but sadly M.E. Smith’s “Middle aged Middleton micropub man” remains unreleased.
On the tram back from Bury to Victoria I planned an afternoon in West Manchester,
and admired the lack of GBG pubs on the route.
Ah, the Crooked Man.
Wait, the Crooked Man ? What’s that then ? Surely it’s the Church ?
I fumbled with opening up my GBG spreasdsheet, failed, and jumped up as the announcer boomed “Next stop Prestweeeeetch“, alarming the two French tourists who were clearly lost.
Oooh, a map. Don’t see many of those anymore.
By now the spreadsheet had loaded and the Crooked Man was clearly absent. So a new tick I’d missed, and a chance to explore tourist Prestwich, starting with the futuristic loos.
WhatPub suggested 3pm opening, but we all know that WhatPub hours for micros are starting bids. There were folk insside at 2.34pm, drinking sour DIPAs from tea cups.
“Sorry we’re not open till 3” said the nice lady.
“I’m sure I’ll find something to do for half an hour“. She looked at me sceptically.
What an odd town.
A row of trad Holt pubs with trad names,
a Craft Union with a unique name,
and a shiny new cocktail lounge thing in the glossy square metre of town.
That modernity contrasts sharply with the shopping centre.
But what’s this in the Longfield ?
Nothing on handpump, so I had the Cloudwater Pale as I’m Old Skool.
Two CAMRAs from the 28% faction came in, asked for tasters (spit !) and interrogated the barman about what was cask while I enjoyed my superb keg, all the better for being purchased by contactless.
That occupied me till 3.01 when I returned to the Crooked Man.
“Not YOU again” said the nice lady.
Quirk art, deep sofas, obscure blues, children welcome, a decent stout from Deeply Vale (NBSS 3).
All I’ll say is. Don’t eat black pudding, drink keg and then run for the tram, kids.
You never saw Mark E Smith run, did you ?
retiredmartin 
To be fair, given his profligacy in writing, Mark E. Smith probably took minutes between songs.
That pub was originally the Railway & Naturist, indicating that events in Newark were not a unique occurence.
Are the Vocation and Thornbridge beers not on handpump there, with the pumpclips stuck on the wall above them just to confuse the unwary?
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I bet the craft union pub was the pick of the bunch….great name!
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– and probably a cracking pint of Wadworths 6X for £2.
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I’d be really interested in how many pints of 6X get sold in Craft Union pubs.
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It’s one to me if I’m near the near the Coach and Horses.
And it’s many less than the “fizz” from the multinationals.
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Wot no Nico reference? 🤔
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Come on then, let’s have it.
“I’m waiting for the micro to open”
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I always thought that GLP stood for Greatest Living Poet, but it seems that I was wrong.
Unless there’s a masterpiece called “No Win No Fee”, that is.
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Bottle shops opening, classic boozers empty, shopping centre up for redevelopment. I blame the gentrifiers (oh no that’s my daughter).
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If you had popped in the Forester’s Arms you could have had pint with the ghost of Mark E Smith.
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Oh, was that his local?
Always wondered.
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It certainly was in his later years.
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Always good to see my CAMRA Branch area allows you to develop immensely interesting posts.
Not been to the Crooked Man yet. Tempted though.
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One craft-focused micro is interesting, add in that craft keg (and possibly cask) place and you’ve got a destination.
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