I really shouldn’t take the mick out of the beleagured Mrs RM on this blog, especially now her response site is in production.
And she’s been great company on my trips to some fairly basic pubs of late.
Brentwood ought to have some upmarket craft bar by now, you feel, but the High Street looks as chain dominated as it did in the ’90s, losing out to Billericay on the quirky stakes.
WhatPub shows an old Litten Tree (Doom Bar), an old Hogshead (Greene King), an old local (IPA and Doom Bar), and a Wetherspoons. Craft invasion well and truly averted there.
And that (newish) Spoons is, perhaps, the ugliest Spoons outside Liscard,
But the town does at least have one glory;
Our new Guide entry is tucked away on the road to Ongar and the Secret Nuclear Bunker, which will make a great micro pub when we’re clear we don’t actually need it.
It may not be straight into my Top 100, but I reckoned the Victoria Arms scored Full House on the Proper Pub Bingo.
1. Starting with the mobility scooter at the entrance.
2. Operated by a small local pub chain who know how to run a boozer (Gray & Sons)
3. Selling beers you’ve heard of.
4. Including Harvey’s Best (cool, dry, NBSS 4) in that classy glass. (see Tandleman today)
5. An old bloke with scarf reading the paper under a Guinness sign.
6. Dark wood and bench seating
7. Energetic banter, much of it incomprehensible, even to Mrs RM
“The breakdown of democracy within a federalist state”
“And then where will we be ?”
“Exactly”
8. A playlist that includes Bill Hailey and Pop Muzik by M
9. A sign for the Gentlemen’s loo that says “”Gentlemen”. Rather than “Drakes”, weird arrows or pictures of animals you can’t identify.
Pretty much full house in the Victoria then. Pub Curmudgeon will think of a No. 10.
retiredmartin 
Yes, pretty much full house 😀
Carpet, maybe, for #10?
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I was thinking scratchings but crisps were ok too.
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That red mobility scooter seems to crop up frequently in your photographs – sure it’s not yours?
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Of course it’s mine !
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LOL. 🙂
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Argh. My LOL was in response to Richard’s zinger, not RM’s response. 😉
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You’ve been to Liscard ??!! I live in Wirral and would never willingly go there.
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Why not ? Love the Wirral, proper pubs and great coastline.
https://retiredmartin.com/2017/06/13/lazy-in-liscard/
#LoveWhereYouLiveUnlessIt’s Maidenhead
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Hate where you live. Grimsby’s a shithole, I know what it is.
I’m becoming more and more intrigued about Liscard.
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Simon has to go there, or did he go on John’s stag do ?
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“who now how”
I was all set to read that as “how now (great) brown cow, or some such. 🙂
And yes; the Victoria Arms looks a treat while the Dairyman looks a bloody travesty!
Cheers
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That photo of The Dairyman looks like an effort to create the most un-pub-like building in history. Are you sure it wasn’t a parking structure? 😉
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Brentwood is a parking structure !
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