retiredmartin

May 2026. Sheffield.

I’m no glory-hunter. Not for me the trip to Crewe Alex to see Cambridge United promoted. I couldn’t get a ticket. I chose the last Saturday of the grass roots season to watch “Proper Football”.

Bramall Lane, home of legends like, er, Eddie Colquhoun,

where the modern day stars drive normal cars.

Yes, I’m here for the ladies, as Barry White once sang. Only a fiver for second tier soccer (I’m apparently old),

and I get a main stand seat and a choice of craft beer.

My last women’s football also featured the Blades, down in Chesterfield, but now they play at the men’s team in front of a crowds of a couple of thousand, which is as many as Cambridge got a decade ago.

Over half the crowd are primary school girls whose main chant appears to be “Is it half-time yet, I want sweets“, a song I recall well from taking my own lads to the Etihad.

You get a mascot borrowed from Bristol Rovers, an artisanal sausage roll drowning in Henderson’s relish,

and the joy of drinking beer in your seat. If you attempt that at the Etihad the consquences are akin to taking a photo in the Brown Bear.

The sausage roll was meaty, the Salt fizzy, the keg Stones smooth and creamy. 2 out of 3 ain’t bad.

And the game itself was a really good watch, particularly with the recent innovation of the ladies having two goals to shoot at.

A lot of features of the men’s game have been embraced. Moving the ball well out of the arc at corners, bringing on the physio to slow the game down, shouting “Man on” to confuse the opposition.

“Yes, yes, but was it any good ?” you ask.

It really was, though most of the quality came from a recently relegated Bristol side with skill and tactics, and in Lexi LLoyd-Smith a lethal finisher that Manchester City ought to poach to replace Bunny Shaw.

Have a look at the highlights and judge for yourself.

Sheffield United 0-4 Bristol City | Highlights

_{Parental Warning – Coldplay was played after the game. You have been warned.}