It was all going so well.

Then I had to go to golf-mad Gullane, the St Andrews of the South (except it doesn’t have a university or craft beer).

A few years ago my dad stayed at one of the hotels here on a golfing trip with mates from the ‘Beach, so he’d probably done more Gullane GBG ticks than me.

Two (2) ticks greet me after the short trip from my campervan spot within site of Bass Rock.

It’s a quaint little place in an area known for farmers, golf shops and ancient letter boxes.

Another dreich day, and sadly the little blue hut turned out NOT to be a pre-emptive micro.

Really, the very name Bonnie Badger should strike fear into the scruffy ticker.

Now, before I start, let me say this. I AM NOT THE TARGET AUDIENCE OF THE BONNIE BADGER AND PEOPLE WHO ARE WILL LOVE IT. And their staff were all polite and cheery.

I’m met at the door by a greeter.

A table for one, Sir ?”

Er, can I just get a beer please ?”

Certainly, Sir, I’ll see you to your table“.

Er, I really won’t need a table

It’s July 2020 all over again. I’m escorted to an empty bar; empty bar the four immaculately attired young folk (Badgers ?) ready to take my order.

This is my view from the high table.

Good view of the American football, whatever that is, non-existent view of the bar.

What can I get you, Sir ?”

A half of a real ale..” (does international sign of the handpump) “...anyone will do

The chap has whizzed off to look at the pumps as he’s no idea what beers they’ve got, which tells you all you need know about GBG status in Scotland.

It’s Stewart 80/, in case you can’t tell. It’s undrinkable (NBSS 1.5), but if you think I’m making a fuss and forcing a young person to change it for Tennents you’re wrong.

Shall I set up a tab for you, Sir ?”

Er, can I can pay now, please ?

Certainly, Sir, I’ll get your bill“. What !

I hand over a fiver. The staff confer; what do they do with cash ! There’s a mad scrabble for change which involves deputing the youngest to search for coins while I tip the 80/ in the urinals (video only available to Patronised readers).

They’re 5p short. I say “Don’t worry” and bolt for the door. They’re still looking for that shilling.

Yards away, I find Tick No.2.

The Old Clubhouse, coincidentally occupying the site of the old clubhouse, also has a greeter but I ignore them on the way to the bar.

This is upmarket as well, but much more casual, and I liked it a lot.

No idea what’s in that glass (probably Stewart), and no idea why everyone is standing around, but that’s what the posh folks do, I guess.

It was very good anyway, cool and crisp (3.5), and almost redeemed Gullane.



  1. Why would you leave the A19 for the A1 so soon. The A19 is such a lovely drive south of Hartlepool, a Teesside secret like it’s banked Strongarm.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Can’t argue with that. The pubs like the Globe on the Headland are great, and the banked Bass in Stockton’s Sun is a national treasure.

      Search “Hartlepool” on my blog.


  2. Two (2) pubs in one post? Are you trying to catch up?

    Should we have a sweepstake on how many pubs behind the blog will be on completion day?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Was that the Jack White of Seven Iron Army fame? 🙂

    I’ve only recently caught up with your blog, read about 6 months posts in a month. Entertaining and educational, as always. Keep on keeping on!


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