There is (almost) nothing in life so good as an unexpectedly open pub door (only edged out by finding some uneaten crispy beef the next morning).
Not only was it open, but the door to the Dolocauthi Arms was bright red.
Yes, the National Trust-owned Dolaucothi invited me in. At 11:09 !
Mrs RM let me do this one myself, perhaps fearing I’d ask why they were closed on Thursday.
I strode to the bar.
Nothing.
“Er, hello” “Hello !”. There was no-one about. Perhaps they were mining the Bara Brith.
Oh, well, get the photos in, anyway.
VERY National Trust, with perhaps the most exciting dartboard placement of the week.
And then I heard the vaccum cleaner upstairs.
Standing at the bannister, I called, meekly “Hello ?”.
A minute later, a lady descended, looking worried.
“Any chance of a drink ?“
“I’m only helping out upstairs“.
“Oh, that’s a shame, the sign says open and I’ve come all the way from Sheffield“.
Anyway, after a period of intense negotiation the lovely lady agreed to get me a drink.
“But I don’t know how to operate the card machine“. “I have exact cash !”.
The next hurdle came when I asked her to operate the hand pump.
“Ooh, I’ve never done that before“. Well, I talked her through, the way Ground Control talks through a passenger landing a pilot-less plane.
And she’ll no doubt delighted to know I rate her efforts NBSS 3.5, a lovely flat drop of Gower Gold (“I can’t put a head on the beer yet !”).
“I am ALLOWED to do this, aren’t I ?“
Oh yes.
retiredmartin 
That’s a felony isn’t it? Not to mention the immorality of the ask.
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Luckily the blog is so far behind it’s probably outside the Statute of Limitations.
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“The Pub Cleaner From Pumsaint” reminds me of “The Dry Cleaner From Des Moines” by Joni Mitchell
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Isn’t Des Moines Bill Bryson country?
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It is indeed. From memory, without looking it up, “I come from Des Moines, Iowa. Somebody has to.”
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I used to find that place name hilarious when I was a kid 💨
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I still do !
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Why ever?
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Love this! Clandestine beer drinking in a national trust pub! There will be uproar when they find out
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Given their antiquated systems they’ll find out in April 2027.
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Of course, pulling a pint is nowhere near as easy as many people imagine. I’ve seen incompetent bar staff make a mess of it on numerous occasions.
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As I discovered in the Banks’s tasting rooms in 2018 !
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“mining the Bara Brith” sounds like a very specific Welsh euphemism.
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Don’t worry, Scott, it’s less sexy than Bitcoin.
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Well what could be more sexy than Bitcoin? Have you found a bar that accepts Bitcoin yet?
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No, but I seem to have got a Guernsey fiver in my wallet so I’ll see if that’s any easier to spend than Bitcoin on Stromness.
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Well, it’s not often that I take a sharp intake of breath upon reading your blog, but there are two things about this that got me thinking. Firstly, and perhaps most obviously, if the pub wasn’t *actually* open yet, would anyone have pulled the beer through the lines? Perhaps this half of NBSS 3.5 had been sitting in the tubes all night?
Secondly, and more seriously, people who work in a pub serving drinks have to be authorised to do so by someone with a personal licence issued by the local council. Part of a new employee’s induction is that the licensee has to inform the staffer that they are being authorised by the licence holder to serve alcoholic beverages even in the absence of the licence holder. An inspector is entitled (indeed, required) to ask the person pouring the beer if they can tell them who has authorised them to do so. I don’t think your cleaning person would have been able to give an adequate response.
Luckily, as you point out, the statute of limitations expires at closing time each evening.
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In the real world, perhaps, but this is Wales.
What happens if you pour it yourself ?
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The Theft Act may have some relevant clauses? You’re just getting deeper into the mire. As if it’s not enough that you encouraged the cleaner to break the terms of the Licensing Act…
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Hey, Will, I broke the law in a limited and very specific way. It’ll be fine. At least I didn’t ask for tasters.
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But Will, Time Immemorial ended in 1189.
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