“I’d live in a shed at the bottom of the garden and I’d never have a headache again” – Trowbridge delivers the goods.

My last West Wilts tick was the highlight of the day, and there’s not many times folk say that about a trip to Trowbridge, is there ?

Trowbridge is to Wiltshire what Leigh is to Lancashire, or Haverhill to Essex.

But it was a joy, a JOY I tell you, to make a first trip back to the home of Ushers since we subjected our boys to the dodgiest Wetherspoons in the South a decade ago (bargain Curry Club, mind).

Even the indoor shopping centre looked smarter than I remember (I’m being very selective).

Very few holidaymakers visit, which makes puts a lot of pressure on me to find some reason for you to cancel your plans for Bath and Frome and do the ‘Trow, as the kidz call it.

This is the Town Hall, the most attractive building in town. It’s fenced off.

And this is the indoor market. Think of the potential !

And here’s your Guide entry.

So what does the King’s Arms have to allow it to join the Star and the Old Green Tree and the British Lion ?

Why, free WiFi Doom Bar, of course. £3 Doom Bar, too, selling by the bucket load (not literally).

So why on earth I had a watery Butcombe (2.5) I’ll never know. It may have been the corrosive influence of “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now“.

But it’s a gem, like a Craft Union pub with more women, food (an unexpected but untested homemade Lamb & Apricot Tagine) and a working coffee machine (two biscuits too !). Come to think of it, Trowbridge is a town version of Craft Union.

Lots of laughter, mainly from a group of gentlefolk seemingly getting into the swing of this living with Covid thing.

“I’d have Bob back, and I’d live in a shed at the bottom of the garden, and I’d never have a headache again” said a widow I’ll call Dora. One of the most surprising and moving things I’ve heard in a pub in years.

As we left, a bloke dropped his glass, but no-one cheered. Trowbridge is weird.

16 thoughts on ““I’d live in a shed at the bottom of the garden and I’d never have a headache again” – Trowbridge delivers the goods.

  1. Off topic but whatever.
    Thule Bar, Lerwick. Waiting for ferry. Lots of loud people drinking silly drinks. Girl probably 40 years younger than me flirting with me. Van Morrison and Rod Stewart on the jukebox. God, I love pubs.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Re-reading that in the cold light of day, I think I may have flattered myself. The girl was probably only 30-odd years younger than me.


  2. Apropos of nothing, I popped my D**m B*r cherry yesterday. Went to a Beefeater attached to a Premier Inn (never an oasis for cask) and asked for a pint of Proper Job and was given something that looked suspiciously browner than Job and which tasted of nothing but disappointment. Apparently, the Job was off, so they thought I’d like a D**m B*r instead. I blame my beard!

    I hope never to try it again.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “which tasted of nothing but disappointment” is a beautiful turn of phrase, Bobby.

      While I know some see me as a champion for Doom Bar, I’ve only ever enjoyed it in a handful of pubs which have allowed it to mature before serving, rarely the case in Spoons or the hotel chain pubs !


      1. I guess it’s the sort of nothingy drop that works as social lubrication, but doesn’t stand up to close scrutiny as a beer to be savoured.

        What irked me was the assumption that, having ordered a cask beer, I only wanted a cask beer, like I was a character from Viz*, just because I have a beard and a muffin-top; whereas I’d have been happy to have either utilitarian lager or craft (well, Br*wdog…)

        *I probably am a character from Viz, althought I’m more Terry F*ckwitt than Real Ale Twat!


      2. Ha ! The classic is when you go to a pub with marginal cask trade, probably offering CAMRA discount, and get asked if you’re a CAMRA member if you even look at the pumps.

        And yes, plenty of people I know who visit pubs happily alternate cask/keg/whatever.


      3. “and get asked if you’re a CAMRA member” and you’re tempted to reply “Not just a CAMRA member, I’m a CAMRA LIFE member”.

        Liked by 1 person

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