THE CASE AGAINST TABLE SERVICE Vol 73.

Mudgie asked me what beer I had in Matlock and I confess I’ve no idea, as I wasn’t allowed to see the hand pumps as I was shown to the table.

I know it was their Moot Ales homebrew, and I’m sure the enthusiastic barperson gave me a lengthy answer describing “A crispy hoppy beer, 4.2%, a traditional British bitter, 3.9%” etc and I’d have just said “What was the first one again ?“.

Because to be honest I have no “palate” and don’t care what I drink, I just want to point at a handpump, pay, and take the pint to my table.

Some people on Beer Twitter seem to confuse this desire to avoid table service (involving more Covid transmission risk than paying at a bar wearing a mask) with boorishly aggressive male behaviour and bar hogging. They’re COMPLETELY different.

Roll on the 19th, when I’ll wear a mask up to the bar and take it off when I sit down. The rest of you, and the pubs, can do what you like.

More table service mini-traumas in the Peaks for you.

This is the Royal Oak in Hurdlow, a few miles south of Buxton/north of Leek, and a rare new GBG entry in the western Peak.

I’d been following their Facebook page urging me to book or risk a fruitless journey, but of course booking to visit a pub is anti-pub (and probably anti-English as well).

So of course, turning up at 3pm on a quiet Monday, I was forced to sit on this table in the garden;

I never learn.

Obviously I wasn’t allowed to enter the sacred interior of the Royal Oak, so had the lovely waiter (on one of FOUR trips out to attend to me) recite a list that I paused at “Thornbr”. You can’t go wrong with Thornbridge.

It was very tasty, but ultra-chilled.

And when I popped inside to pay (why ?) I couldn’t see it on the bar. And it was £5.20. Cos keg, right ?

So not only do I now have the shame at having missed out on Doom Bar in its spiritual home of, er, Derbyshire, but I’m now wondering if my tick was actually legitimate.

But, hey, I’m sure you’ve got bigger things to worry about.

Published by retiredmartin

Retired NHS, doing long walks around UK and the world to record the great bits. Focused on Good Beer Guide pubs and live music.

12 thoughts on “THE CASE AGAINST TABLE SERVICE Vol 73.”

  2. I’m assuming it took you long enough to:

    a. Let it warm up
    b. Dissipate some fizz
    c. Surreptitiously add a bit of gravy browning

    So, legit…

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  3. “I’m sure you’ve got bigger things to worry about.” I’m going to spend the rest of the day worrying about your inability to spot a keg beer when it’s in your glass, never mind when it’s in your mouth, fizzing against your tongue and dislodging ancient fillings with its ultracoolth.

    It’ll take more than a dash of Hendersons Relic (sic) to get you past this one, I fear.

    With deepest sympathy…

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  4. Leaving aside your serious palate problem, the relaxation of existing measures will mean some people return to the pub while others will be more reluctant to go, depending on their views and vulnerability. Mask-wearing is intended to protect others (as far as is possible, which might be not very far) not ourselves. Whilst certainly not a desirable state of affairs, it seems a small price to pay for ordering and sitting at the bar and helping to protect often young and not yet vaccinated bar staff. I presume quite a few places will still require it as they have a duty of care to their staff.

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    1. Quite a few places may still require it, but it’s hard to see how anyone will enforce it. Government have wiped their hands of mask wearing now, licensees and staff won’t now be able to say “We don’t make the rules…”

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