A DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO PAY FOR A HALF

I read about fellow tickers “doing” 37 pubs in a day, and wonder how such a thing is even possible.

I mean, have you tried paying for your beer in a pub lately ?

Mrs RM drove carefully down from Inveraray along the shore of Loch Fyne, depositing me safely at the door of Pub No.3, the Cairnbaan Hotel.

The Beer Guide map will do you just fine.

For those of you living in, say, York without recourse to personalised taxis, here’s the journey by public transport.

Less than 9 hours. Good luck, Si.

The Cairnbaan sits on the banks of a canal, which is the most interesting thing I can say about it. In England, it would be the Falgate Inn at Potter Heigham. I say no more.

A pleasing entrance with cut glass and carpets borrowed from Oban Spoons leads to a door at which you must make a decision.

NO-ONE should ever be required to make a decision in a pub BEFORE ordering a pint.

Do I stand at the door and wait for instruction, or march confidently to the bar and await orders. There are so many unwritten rules these days.

I peeped in.

Can I HELP you ?“. Uh-oh. In trouble.

May I get a drink please, I’ll be quick, just a half of anything. Please.”

I’m shown to a table by the Dean Koonitz books and await further instruction.

A young lady comes over and asks me what I want.

I strain to read the pumps and decide one of them MUST be Jarl and order a half.

Two minutes later, the nice lady returns and tells me they have no Jarl, but they have Avalanche. etc etc.

It’s poured, after some difficulty, and I offer to pay as it’s finally delivered but apparently I can only pay at the bar on the way out. This is completely bonkers.

I really feel for the pubs having to follow nonsensical rules and their stretched staff, who here are charming, even with the customer with the complicated venison burger order. I think venison has been confused with vegan.

Sadly, the Avalanche is tired and barely drinkable (NBSS 1.5), but Covid regulations prevent the plant pot dump you so crave. If the Prime Minister doesn’t allow the plant pot dump from 19 July I’m out of here.

12 thoughts on “A DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO PAY FOR A HALF

  1. Ugh! Don’t like the look of that one at all. I’m down that way in a few days but I think I’ll give that one a swerve.

    Like

  2. All sorts of strange stuff happens in these times. There’s usually an explanation. It will pass anyway.

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  3. Plant Pots are available in Scotland, you merely have to sign for one at the bar, completing a separate Track & Trace for the beer, and self isolate in the greenhouse or something. Beer will soon be back to its excitingly variable best everywhere. Phew!

    Liked by 1 person

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