I don’t like to moan, I really don’t.
I’d NEVER lie to you about beer quality, that’s sacrosanct, but I’ll always look for the good in people and pubs. “While not to everyone’s tastes, the high tables and uniformed staff selling out-of-date beer (NBSS 0.5) have certainly found an enthusiastic audience with the Bournemouth pashminas“, I will write.
But taking Mrs RM on tour means a more blunt approach. “Write “they were ******* rude” or I’ll kill you“, she warns.
Look away now, those of a Pollyanna persuasion (sounds like a late ’80s fey pop supergroup).
Actually, we were in a genteel mood after the Masonic Arms and a walk along the east west coast of Kirkcudbright’s St Mary’s Isle that never quite allowed us to dip our toes in the Dee.
Yes, that’s her in the distance, pressing on while I admired the rhododendrons that lit up the coast.
And she may have beat me into the Selkirk Arms while I admired the pastel colours of Castle Street.
Yes, it’s gorgeous. Look rather “coastal pubby” doesn’t it ?
And we entered the “wee bar” at 16:25 to find a typical small hotel bar that looked inviting.
Except that’s the picture from their website. We were greeted by tables with signs on them, and a sense we were intruding.
“Hello, can we get a quick drink please ?” Always best to say “quick” to emphasis you’re not a malingerer.
“Umm, OK. But for future reference our bar is closed at 4pm for NON residents. Our guest don’t like non-residents taking the tables when they return“.
The bar was completely empty, of course, and there was no mention of this at the door or one their Facebook page proclaiming “ALWAYS OPEN” (always a lie).
“Thanks for serving us. We’ll be quick and, er, we’ve come from Cambridge* “
“That’s up to you“.
Mrs RM took a seat, like you’re supposed to.
“Don’t sit down there. I’ve just sanitised those tables“.
We scampered off to the (lovely) garden and awaited further instructions.
Well, I did. Mrs RM obviously followed the one way system and ended up in the bar.
I’d love to tell you the Sulwath (top) redeemed it all but of course this is Scottish beer and it didn’t (NBSS 2), and I’d love to tell you I didn’t enjoy it but of course I did, because I love rules and watching people break them unintentionally.
Keep reading…
*I don’t know why I said that. Perhaps I thought Nicola’s ban on Mancunians had spread across the Pennines.
retiredmartin 
Been there and sat in the garden. Very odd attitude then too.
That photo brings back memories, but I think we melted their hearts. I was with 3 Englishmen and in such situations am appointed spokesman. Doesn’t always turn out well if I think of Jedburgh. Or was it Galashiels?
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We’d have been entirely sympathetic if not for the lack of welcome. I get that a lot, often in the smarter GBG entries. “Can I HELP you ?” in a doubtful voice.
Jedburgh and Galashiels are hard to mix up except after 6 pints of 80/ !
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I think it was a stout of some kind. And a question of vinegar. It was Jedburgh.
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“Don’t sit down there. I’ve just sanitised those tables“. But, but, but surely that’s exactly where one *should* sit down! I could understand “Please don’t sit down there – I’ve not yet sanitised that table“, but their version is pure laziness and the complete opposite of customer service. I think I’d have just walked out at that point.
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Indeed, but it felt like we were “spoiling” the clean pub with our germs. I thought I’d misheard her and she’s said “I’ve NOT sanitised those tables” but Christine has better hearing !
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“Or spoiling a Scottish pub with your English germs ?
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Oi ! Our germs are far superior you know Paul.
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Precisely…and that was not the worst! Blog still to come where I refuse a drink because of rudeness and the ever polite RM had to sit and drink his half on his own! That was a swift one….
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Hmmm, sounds like my trip to Edmundbyers, except they wouldn’t let us in, in case every single resident turned up for a drink at the same time. I have to say I find all the righteous ‘don’t blame the staff, blame the rules’ stuff rather misplaced based on recent experience. A smile costs nothing.
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Agree. From what I see 99% of people who ARE visiting pubs are falling over themselves to follow the rules, even when the rules are unclear or vary between county as in Scotland. The vitriol aimed at customers on social media (not about no-shows) will do no-one any good. Anyway, most people AREN’T returning to pubs, so the pubs will be pleased.
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The words “F*** you and f*** your pub” come to mind.
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Fank.
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That’ll be it.
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It would be so much easier if they just had a big fuck off sign on the door. Save everyone the trouble.
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Best ever comment on this blog that, to be honest.
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But I thought Martin didn’t like contacting places in advance?
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