A week ago I was in Newcastle, getting ready for a big night out in the Toon. But after ticking that 3rd pint in Whitley Bay the week caught up with me, and even a restorative flat white in Kith & Kin. Should have had a dip.

I had to jump off the tram back to Newcastle for a leak at Tynemouth (pronounced Tin-muff) where it struck me that all those station micros had ALREADY dropped out of the GBG. Are they suddenly rubbish, or does Tyne & Wear need some of Lincolnshire’s Guide allocation ?

Mind, there seem to be NO pubs at all west of our hotel.

Mrs RM wasn’t leaving her room, so with only some big European contest on I headed out to explore what I assume is Benwell. They seem very keen on fish.

I started humming “When the boat comes in” as I began an endless walk up the A186, a multi-cultural area of Persian takeaways, ice cream shops and views to the Tyne and beyond.

But no pubs, or even signs of dead pubs. Until I’d nearly reached the A1 and the Fox & Hounds appeared, where young lads were standing outside the exit debating which Greene King to have with their steak. Sadly, it seemed to be bookings only.

Tucked away in suburbia is the Temple of Antenociticus, an early micropub specialising in sours. I felt relieved I hadn’t dragged Mrs RM out to see it.

With no energy for anything exciting, I brought home some artisanal snacks and a mini bottle of Prosecco and watched the drama of Eurovision 2021 unfold.

Obviously the UK won by getting nul points, but I reckoned the Bulgarian entry was harshly treated. See what you think, and enjoy your evening.

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