Us #PubMen/Women are as obsessed with promoting our blogs as we are in rare hop varieties in limited edition craft cans.
But most of all, you want me outside an unexpectedly closed pub in the middle of nowhere.
Will Helperby do ?
Mere minutes from the Yorkshire home of these on-trend parents,
but I had to look hard for Helperby, possibly because it’s tiny (520 posh souls), mainly because it’s linked with contiguous Brafferton.
You only know you’ve changed villages, if you even have, when you reach the highly sought after bend in the road.
It’s a stunning village with cobbled walkways on either side it seems a shame to stick cars on. Reminds me of Sowerby, that other one street Hambleton jewel. Or even a backstreet of Stamford.
I park my car out of sight, only to be accosted by a lady (possibly Lady) who tells me I’m in the way of her
carriage and four horsebox.
I’m not expecting WhatPub to be right as pubs tentatively return, so I wander the village for 45 minutes, hoping to be told off for a minor infraction of a by-law.
Some gentlefolk at the church eye me suspiciously, presuming me a bodysnatcher from Thirsk, or (worse) BRAPA.
I walk the entire village 3 times, curse that Brafferton’s open pub isn’t the one in the Guide, and wonder how 700 people can support 2 pubs.
There’s a mobility scooter outside the Golden Lion, the hint of a light, but no gaggle of villagers forming an SD queue, no dash for the handwash.
I search for the pub social media. There is no social media. No website, no Twitter, no TikTok.
The out-of-date Facebook page is an unofficial “fan” site, with an England rugby badge. I may have dodged a bullet here.
To be honest, I wasn’t TOO bothered. It’s only a ten minute diversion via Boroughbridge or Thirsk. I’ll try again on Sunday lunchtime, when it’s BOUND to be open, I think.
I never learn.