Three more sleeps.  Then I’m freed from blogging about flat Fenland villages.


Horningsea is much too posh to be Fenland, but unfortunately it’s the next village south of  Waterbeach and there’s nothing it can do about THAT.

But look at its medieval potter on the village sign (top), the painted pebbles,

The scream

the Clive Cussler in the phone box,

All be in the charity shop in a month

and the laminated map on the millennium green with EVERY house marked.  If you drill down you can see individual house values.

Makes it look uber interesting

The population has increased from 331 to 378 this century, an “R” rate of 1.15.  Which just shows how pointless “R” rates are.

It’s a one street village, with the bonus the River Cam as a border and a garden centre that sees the population treble on Sunday lunchtimes.

When the Lockdown eased last month my Dad was first in the queue at Scotsdales to buy cannabis plants or whatever gentlefolk buy these days.

The new Spoons

Some big houses for gentlefolk, several of whom I’ve taken from Horningsea to hospital while I’ve been a volunteer driver.

Today’s thatch
Down to the river
Sunset over St. Peters

In 1976 Horningsea played Hull in the FA Cup Milton Primary School organised a special trip to Baits Bites Lock, just across the Cam.

I remember, even at 11, being impressed by the vivid pink colours and stuccoed exteriors of the mill house ice cream van.

Wheat.  Or possibly barley. Whatever
“Danger” is an invite to an 11 year old

Milton, you’ll remember, is delicately situated next to the sewage works.  The smell at the lock is barely more palatable, so I skipped back through the fields to bring you the two pubs.

The Crown & Punchbowl is the “small chain of gastros with Bentleys in the hotel car park” one.

The home of blow-torched mackerel

while the Plough & Fleece at least has/had a pubby front room to complement the vast dining room.

Yet another Fen escapee from the Greene King roster

This is the one that would be a GBG regular anywhere in Scotland or Lincolnshire, but in Cambs it has to compete with the might of the Sun for a coveted Guide place.

No-one should have to compete with the might of the Sun for a coveted Guide place.


NB The working title for this post was “Nowhere to pee in Horningsea” but, well, there’s a perfectly serviceable bush at Snout Corner.  Details free to Patronised readers.



  1. Horningsea 3, Hull null.

    Why do the pubs both have 2 names? Were they 4 knocked together? It annoys me more than it should. Three more sleeps, we can do this!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Two names so there’s still one remaining if one falls out of favour such as the Green Man and Blacks Head Royal hotel in Ashbourne.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I chuckled at “The home of blow-torched mackerel.” Here in the States mackerel is rarely (if ever) on the menu, but it’s hugely popular in Japan, and I’m a fan I must say. Though I’m pretty sure they grill it over charcoal rather than put a fancy restaurant blow torch to it. 😉

    Is it a common choice in England? A very tasty fish, not sure why it’s so uncommon in America.


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