28th December 2019

Now that Simon has gone woke I have to up my game and avoid any blog titles that might get folk offended on behalf of other folk.

But rest assured Mrs RM has the rights to “A Dizzy Blonde in Lytham” and if she ever finds a spare afternoon will incorporate it in her own nascent blog. I’ve always wanted to use the word “nascent“.

If Mrs RM does get her dream transfer to Preston we’ll be less than half an hour from Blackpool, and even closer to Lytham (St Annes).


One of life’s big mysteries is why it’s Lytham St Annes and not Lytham and St Annes. After all, they’re two very distinct seaside towns offering refuge from hen parties from Rotherham, and both have their own, distinct pub scene.

Wetherspoons, ale house, Greene King diner and micro in one.Wetherspoons, ale house, Greene King diner and micro in one in the other. Oh.

Lytham has the best station, unless Ansdell and Fairhaven fans know better.


They may have taken the deccies down early in Manchester but they’re out till twelfth night (whenever that is) in Lytham.


Obligatory Greene King mock tudor pub

Are you taking me somewhere nice with food” said Mrs RM.

wp-1578659407961483299545644937940.jpgLooks oddly like a fish tank

Steaming inside

Do scratchings in a micropub count ?” They didn’t. “There’s a Spoons ?” “No !”

Beer is a meal, of sorts, isn’t it ?

wp-15786609059035839887365660487371.jpgMine was better than Mrs RM’s, for a change.

So a very quick half in the Craft House, as much because there was no seating.

wp-15786609627525175648899013007313.jpgNote statutory dog about to trip short-s0ghted me up

Of course, having Mrs RM with me increases my chances of magically getting a seat by, ooh, 200%, and one magically appears.

wp-15786609931043458297281050903357.jpgNice shoes

The Cross Bay Plum Porter was good, the company cheery, but I get claustrophic and I needed to get out. Mrs RM just needed chips.

Unfortunately, I then remembered The Taps did good food.

wp-15786699247336611560106270225621.jpgIgnore the sign


Unfortunately, I’d forgotten that I’ve never been in Taps when it’s less than heaving.

wp-15786700813782696749080575684963.jpgActual people drinking


OK, it was a Saturday early evening, but this was post Christmas drinking crowd. No space, not even in the smoking den.

wp-15786701490511151186015188119821.jpgMan nervously noting he’s taking up a table for four as mates haven’t arrived


Space by the fire. Too hot. So Mrs RM found a bench by the loos and asked for crisps.

And beer.

wp-15786699599719022743153376264356.jpgYes, of course

Now let me be provocative. Taps is like the Harp by the sea. It may have lost its independence a few years back but it sells a huge amount of cask. My Plum Porter was very good, but it was the Dizzy Blonde that was shifting, pint after pint.

So Mrs RM went back to the bar for a second pint, and probably 3rd bag of crisps.

“We need chips after this”


This was a “Wow” moment, a glorious rich pint. If you want to experience Robbies at its best, come here.

Mrs RM wandered over the road to the chippy, I unwisely went back for another Blonde. It was wrong, but it felt right.

14 thoughts on “LYTHAM (BUT NO SAINTS)

  1. That “Looks oddly like a fish tank” suggests that steamed up windows are as much a feature of such “poky” establishments as random furniture and Monday closing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. They can’t do much about being “poky”, comes with the territory, and I’d rather see a full pub than an empty one.

      That’s the problem. I don’t want empty pubs but I DO want a comfy seat.


  2. A delightful account of your evening; I’ll bet that guy didn’t realize he’d have his shoes admired all over the globe (by way of your blog) when he slipped them on that morning.

    Do you reckon the drinks in that “Man nervously noting he’s taking up a table for four” photo are champagne? Or is that how prosecco is served (with an ice bucket)?

    I’ve got this theory that champagne in England is a more common choice of “everyday” drink in the UK than it is in the States, what do you think? Over here it is very much relegated to special celebratory occasions (in my experience at least, I may be wrong); but I remember reading in Michael Palin’s diary how he and his friends were having it at seemingly ordinary lunches and so forth. You’ve got to have a fair amount of cash to be able to afford it, I would think!


    1. I think it might have been Prosecco, Mark, not that I’d know the difference.
      I don’t go in a lot of pubs where people drink Champagne, I expect Michael Palin does!
      You can get a bottle of Champagne for £20 in Spoons I guess.

      Liked by 1 person

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