On my imaginary desert island (probably Foulness Island in Essex) I’d swap the Shakespeare for the GBG and have a constantly updating BRAPA blog.

I might even have time to read BRAPA rather than just looking at the pictures. Luckily Matthew pays more attention than I do;


And produced the startlingly good cover for this blog. And all Matthew got in return was a Green Devil in Preston and 5% of the profits on “BRAPA – The Movie”.

Looking back I’m slightly surprised Simon made it to 30 December, and thanks go to his Dad, Tom and the Stockport posse for getting him home safely from scary towns in 2019.

Here’s a few BRAPA highlights.

  1. “I’d had six pints of Bass”
Burton Man

A damascene conversion to the brown nectar reached its peak in Burton in July, when Si wrote “I vow to be sensible for rest of the year“. That went well.

2. The BRAPA “joke”

“Did you hear about the dog on the London Underground that swallowed a trumpet?”

“It went from Barking to Tooting in 25 minutes.”

3. Height advantage in Harrogate

It’s always Harrogate, isn’t it ?

4. Banned from Newark forever.

Image result for Puddle

“I totally unslyly just relieved myself all over the platform (I didn’t even try to hide behind a building or pillar or anything!) What an idiot.”

And yet, the Dire Straits reference was by far the biggest offence in that post.

5. The Tale of the Prodigal Beer Guide

The year’s most heartwarming story, one to revive your faith in humanity (well, Yorkies).

Someone has gone to great lengths to look after this book” wrote our hero, overlooking the desecration of the brewery section and the cheese dipper smears.

6. Simon makes friends in Legendz, Ashton-under-Lyne


Wow, how can anyone get Simon so wrong. Anyway, he’s going to have to wear a disguise to visit the new GBG entry in Ashton. Perhaps go as Michelin Man;

Great reading, and I reckon he’ll actually have made decent progress in completing the Beer Guide this year, not that that seems to matter much.

May this T-shirt continue to strike fear into the heart of provincial British pubs in 2020.



  1. A brilliant idea of yours, these posts and even more brilliant to get Matthew to do the title pic. Have you taken him onto the payroll yet to go with your team
    of photographers, and those guys who paint the images on walls across Britain for you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The Newark incident makes me laugh every time it is mentioned & I love the lost beer guide story too ! -I wish we’d made an effort to meet him when we almost crossed paths in Weymouth (not Portland though ! )

    Liked by 1 person

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