Deciding on blogpost titles is the toughest game there is. Alliteration ?, pun ?, historical riddle ?, or something someone said to you in the pub ?
It was either the one I picked or “Selsdon Sizzler“, to be honest.

As you’ll know by now, the Good Beer Guide giveth (a trip to a suburb of Croydon) and the Good Beer Guide taketh away (a trip to a suburb of Croydon).
Train back to London Bridge, London Bridge (via a very straight line) to Norwood Junction,
My Norwood highlight
and an exciting bus trip round the outskirts of the Cronx in the rain.
“Thanks a lot” I said
“Thanks driver” said the lady who was following me to the Sir Julian Huxley (not really).
You know exactly what to expect of Selsdon, don’t you ?

Yes, fast food takeaways, hair salons, financial services (banks, building societies, estate agents and an insurance broker) and charity shops.
And a Spoons.
Admit it, you could be in east Brum, or Dereham, or Carluke.
Perhaps a bit more rum and less Buckfast than Carluke.

The Over 60s clubs were out in force, more Old Gals than Old Boys, and the atmosphere was community local rather than cafe or boozer.
I stayed for halloumi fries and the one of the very best pints I’ve had in a Spoons, a smooth, rich, dark Twickenham (NBSS 3.5/4). No long pull here.

Nothing happened,of coure, you’re not in Royston now, but I did look up a micro I’d walked past in the rain.

This is the future for London suburbs. Spoons, micro, vape shop, kebab.
“The Golden Ark” has actually been constructed to house the regulars when the floods wash away Croydon in 2022, just before BRAPA’s visit.
It’s jolly, but unmistakeably a micro.

Opened this year, so very much in preemptive territory, unless it’s one of those micros where everyone drinks lager and wine and gin, like in Proper Pubs.

I like pubs where people drink lager and wine and gin, and sing and swear and fall over (oh, that’s me).
I asked for a half of the Titsey, and got a pint, because I have a funny Fen accent.
“Don’t tell them anything if they phone you” was the pick of some relentless banter at the bar, but I didn’t feel too left out and the lovely Landlady popped over to ask the immortal question;
“Did you enjoy your Cardinal Sin ?”
I really did, even if the rich, smooth pint slowed me down and made me miss the next train to Hayes (not that Hayes).
You missed the best bit about going to a new micropub. Warning them of a potential future BRAPA visit.
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They’ll have sold up to a North Korean investor by the time BRAPA gets to “L”.
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Dunno….Hull City could play Crystal Palace away in the FA Cup some day. Though new micropub owners no doubt concentrate on the decor, the hours, the beers and the ambience, they really should consider what will happen if one day BRAPA is banging on the window 20 minutes before opening time.
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Paying full price in a Spoons? You’ll be asking for a taster next.
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Selsdon has made its mark, however:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selsdon_Group
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John Redwood, Nicholas Ridley? Says it all really, although Selsdon has now unfortunately made its mark/nasty stain on our country’s future. ☹
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Titsey are yet another new brewery that has popped up recently in this corner of Kent.
I tried their beer for the first time, just over a week ago, and wasn’t impressed. The brewery name, which incidentally comes from a posh country house that I’d never heard of – until last year, did allow the barman to make a rather silly, schoolboy type joke as he pulled up a couple of pints for a colleague and I.
Bet you’re all dying to learn what it was, (probably not), but you’ll have to wait until I complete my next post.
“Titter ye Not,” as Frankie Howard would have said!
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I’d heard of Titsey House, not the brewery.
The beer was light and refeshing, if unremarkable. In fact, it’s the unremarkability of the microbreweries beer that stands out, when beer twitter constantly tells us how exciting it all is.
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“I didn’t have any Spoons vouchers left” – you could have had some of mine as I’ve only used Tim’s venues three times so far this quarter.
I have though drunk 37 pints in 25 of Tim’s venues this year and that must be over three times more than the average member given the 25% usage of the vouchers.
I will probably use all of the new vouchers given that they’re also for Stonegate, the Bhurtpore and a few proper pubs.
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I’m sure you’d get banned from Spoons for transferring unused vouchers, Paul.
Oh, too late 😉
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I mean, if you’re going to commit a cardinal sin, you might as well enjoy it. 😉
I must say I have my doubts about newly opened breweries and/or pubs that choose a name (such as Titsey) that seems designed to generate easy jokes. But the design of their pump clip is quite classy and traditional, so maybe the choice wasn’t as gimmicky as I’m imagining.
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I think Titsey is a genuine name like Thornbridge or Beavertown.
My issue is that the newer brewery beers don’t taste any more striking or better made than the established brewers.
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“This is the future for London suburbs. Spoons, micro, vape shop, kebab” sadly true of many town centres though you have missed out tanning salons as presume you haven’t started ticking them yet. The whole concept of business rates needs to be overhauled otherwise we will be left only with out of town malls. It’s just not like that in the rest of Europe. Pubs in towns need footfall and if there’s nothing else to go to people won’t come into towns. And don’t get me started on the banks (or lack of them)….
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Agree on business rates. Why do you need banks in the centre if everything is card only?
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You are so modern! A bank is for life not just for a cash machine. The only near surviving branch of my bank queues outside with people who don’t or can’t do mobile banking. Then some go for a coffee or a beer. Just saying.
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I am modern. I have neural mind implants connected to my bank.
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And I know you’ve been chipped so Whatpub can verify your scoring.
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All done automatically by measuring my tastebuds and sending scores to St Albans.
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I’ve never used a pub or any other premises that are card only, I pay for everything by cash, and I don’t use self service machines for withdrawing cash or buying train tickets.
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