Yes, enough of the “better-than-expected” trendy café bars; it’s back to what makes Cheshire famous. Ancient gastropubs for retired gentlefolk in the middle of nowhere (well, far enough away from Crewe for comfort, anyway).
Before the Cheshire mafia start their abuse, Cheshire is an attractive county and if I was legally compelled to take my mum out for Sunday lunch I’d be happy to take her to the Dysart Arms in Bunbury. Talk about damning with faint praise.
Every B&P greets you with the same words, designed to somehow convince you this is the village boozer of old.
“First off, life revolves around the bar, so that’s where to head for drinks, menus and to find out where you’re sitting if you’ve booked.”
A bit like claiming B&P stands for Banter and Pints, rather than “Beryl & Peter”.
That said, there are folk at the bar as I attempt to get a pint.
It’s not the bloke blocking the handpumps that winds me up though (I can guess the beers), it’s the two dogs competing to lick my shoes.
And the relentless Ed Sheeran.
And the tennis talk.
And the dull, lifeless Weetwood (NBSS 2). As I’ve said before, the posh gastros may provide an outlet for the Cheshire micros but they do them (and the reputation of real ale) few favours if the beer is never tasted in sparkling condition.
The same story at Tilston, even closer to Wrexham and the joys of Malpas.
At least the Carden Arms is cosy, and rambling.
And had those Guest Gins us CAMRA folk love.
More micro stuff on the bar, at which you’ll see staff engaged in simultaneous taking of ordered from the Cholmondley-Warners for 7.30.
I take the only table without diners on it, and enjoyed perusing a collection of “The Countryman” stretching from 1947 to 1985. Nothing seemed to change except the colour of the staples.
You can guess what I thought of the beer. Thanks heavens for foliage.
retiredmartin 
How do those places get in the GBG? Either someone is scoring the beers there as good or better, or the branches in question aren’t looking at the beer scores before putting them in as their entries.
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Or the average age of an active member of the branch is 80 and these are the only bars they ever visit. A scary prospect for all our dotages.
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“How do those places get in the GBG?”
They’ve got guest beers from micros and Robinsons pubs haven’t.
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You’ve explained in ten words what it took me 400 to say, Paul.
It’s all about the microbrewery guests.
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I’m convinced they just count handpumps and make little or no use of NBSS.
Weetwood Eastgate is a lovely BBB when well-kept, though. And the Dysart Arms, which is one of B&P’s earliest pubs, is in my experience one of the nicest in their estate.
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It could have been two dogs competing with Simon to lick your shoes. In a B&P in Maidenhead.
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You really shouldn’t have stayed up so late watching Dutch TV channels if you’ve got that image in your head, Scott.
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Whatever deviancy the Dutch have come up with, nobody but the British could have invented Brunning & Price.
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“nobody but the British could have invented Brunning & Price” – yes, and the TRG’s Frankie & Benny’s was invented in Leicester in 1995 based on a fictional story about the restaurant’s origins in Italy and New York going back to 1924.
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Two dogs competing to lick my shoes sounds wonderful but then, I love dogs to the point of distraction. However, Ed Sheeran and tennis talk would definitely take the edge off any enjoyment.
“The joys of Malpas”. Ah, Malpas! I once spent my summer Sundays there scoring and operating the scoreboard at Malpas Cricket Club (MCC) when I were nobbut a lad.
Appropriate that Cholmondley-Warners drink in Cheshire gastros, given that Cholmondley is in Cheshire and the Marquess of Cholmondley lives there in a dirty great big house.
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Didn’t Boris Johnson’s dad baulk at your outing his local, Martin?
Nigel Farage has pretty well given up on the Queen’s at Downe, I expect.
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“it’s the two dogs competing to lick my shoes.”
This is why I’ve been prone to sprinkle cayenne pepper on my shoes prior to going out. 🙂
“Not quite bad enough to take back”
Ugh.
“Writing on beams my pet hate”
Made worse by the high seating just below.
“Nothing seemed to change except the colour of the staples.”
And that’s probably due to oxidisation. 🙂
“Thanks heavens for foliage.”
Ugh (again).
Cheers
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I’ve yet to sample the delights of a B & P pub…you’re not selling them to me!
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That’s the idea, you’d hate them ;-(
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Can’t see me rushing there any time soon 👍
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Loved this line: “Nothing seemed to change except the colour of the staples.” –An almost haiku-like attention to detail there!
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“Haiku” is all the rage over here at the moment, a bit like “Hygge” was five years ago.
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“the colour of the staples” – but did anyone else notice about ten years ago when an edition of the What’s Brewing newspaper was stapled ?
Probably not.
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