
I’ve just got back from taking Matt to his Architects gig in Cardiff. A good night, only let down by non-existent Wi-Fi at the Future Inn. If the future is internet free then you can keep it.
A week ago I was escorting BRAPA to his long-awaited Wisbech tick.

On these trips I always feel obliged to bore Si with lots of historic detail about the likes of Octavia Hill, my Dad’s trips to Wisbech plant auctions, and the scarcity of the town’s GBG entries over two decades. His feigned interest is a thing of beauty.
To be fair, the Elgood’s pubs are exceptionally shabby, and we only had 30 minutes free parking, which meant a sprint to the Red Lion to fit in his statutory 27.5 minute stay.

You can read about Wisbech here (the one with the Isaac Newton death mask).
There’s still traces of Georgian loveliness along the North Brink. The landlady at Leverington had attempted to lure us to a tour of the Elgoods brewery and gardens and Peckover House is one of the less boring National Trust properties.
The Red Lion is about as grand as the pubs get.

We reduced the average age inside the pub by about 4.433 years. At the bar with the Old Boys, Simon noted everyone was drinking Amstel. I urged Si to go for the Cambridge; it might be his only chance to drink Elgood’s while doing the Beer Guide.

Too late. The nearest fellow, a posh chap reading the Times, told him the “Mortal Wombat” was very popular. “Dangerous drinkable” I think the quote was, clearly taken straight off the tasting notes.

Anyway, it wasn’t good, judging by Si’s face. More condition in my seventh coffee of the day, supplied by one of those machines that were futuristic in Wimpy in 1982.

To cheer him up, I directed Simon the wrong way to the toilets, so the locals could have a good laugh. It also allowed him to shout “Bastard !” when he did find the Gents, apparently.

A pleasant pub for the mature drinker and gentlefolk who enjoy lunches “with all the trimmings“.
We had to rush to get back to the car before the 30 minutes was up, or a man from Walsoken turns up to crush your car.
Love the “bastard ” story !
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It’s uncorroborated. We may have to track down the man who heard Simon say it in the Gents and interrogate him. Can’t have any lies in these blogs, can we ?
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Russ may well enjoy the incorrect spelling of “boeuf bouguignon”, Martin!
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*Boeuf Bourguignon, even.
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I laughingly wrote “Russ may well enjoy the incorrect spelling of beef bourguignon” , before checking Wiki and finding it was right (or acceptable, anyway). https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beef_bourguignon
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Whatever Russ’s views on your spelling of the beef dish I’m almost certain he’ll point out the typos in the 3rd and 4th pars.
For the record Munster v Exeter was a pile of shite and Limerick is even more of a dump than I remembered.
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You lot would be more sympathetic if you knew the conditions I’m working under at the moment; the internet is so poor my mouse is working about 3 minutes behind my fingers !
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” I’m almost certain he’ll point out the typos in the 3rd and 4th pars.”
Caught the one in the 3rd para but totally missed the apostrophe in the 4th; partly because brand names can be a bit dodgy. 🙂
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Pat yourself on the back, but don’t do yourself a mischief.
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Great stuff!!! Not been to Wisbech but I suspect it is a proper pub town with no gentrification – or visitors – whatsoever….
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Your life is not complete ! Yes, I could see you doing a series of great post; think Coalville (without the Pedigree).
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Excellent – can I claim it is in the Midlands? I think they played in the Beazer Homes League once?
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If you flew due west from Wisbech you’d end up in Cannock, which is very Midlands.
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Having lived my first eighteen years there I can confirm that Cannock is very Midlands.
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“the Elgoods pubs are exceptionally shabby” – a sure sign that they’re proper pubs. ,
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Wisbech is an interesting place. On your chauffeuring duties is it possible to conduct a time and er motion study into Si’s 27.5 minute pub stops. Toilets do seem to feature quite a bit.
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Not by direct observation, no ;-0
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All this talk of Wisbech reminded me of a now discontinued blog called “Unmitigated England” which, while not about pubs, occasionally veered into pub territory. Here’s a link to a post about dodgy Elgoods pubs (Warning: some of the replies are very strange indeed) https://unmitigatedengland.blogspot.com/2013/01/brinksmanship.html
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Thanks for that Bill. Good to see someone braving the Hare & Hounds, albeit 6 years ago !
I think some of those replies may relate to the blog author writing a book called “Preposterous Erections”. I blame Russ.
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So do I.
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“His feigned interest is a thing of beauty.” –This made me laugh! In my imagination, Simon hangs on your every word, regarding you as the seasoned climber who’s going to make it to the top of Everest before he does.
Not sure if there is a beer drinker’s saying that goes “Don’t judge a beer by its name”. But really, they weren’t doing themselves any favors when they decided to call the thing Mortal Wombat!
Whenever I see reference to a Red Lion, I always think, “Cathy Price has been there.” 🙂
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Simon just yawns, but that’s mainly because he was probably up at 5pm to catch the train south !
I was convinced that beer must be called Mortal Kombat, which is almost as bad.
Almost tempted to look for Cathy’s Wisbech report but I’m not sure there’s an index or search facility ;-(
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“If the future is internet free then you can keep it.”
Hear, hear!
“His feigned interest is a thing of beauty.”
He’s a banker; they’re known for their feigning. 😉
“Si in a hurry, missing the beauty of the Hare & Hounds”
What the bloody hell does he carry around in the rucksack/backpack?
“Si already inside, looking for the loo”
Never get between Si and the loo!
“told him the “Mortal Wombat” was very popular.”
Never go for the really bad punny ones.
“I directed Simon the wrong way to the toilets, so the locals could have a good laugh.”
Hang on, four photos above this had him already inside looking for the loo. How many pints had he had if he’d already forgotten? 😉
“Simon told off for saying “Bastard””
The irony is palpable.
“Russ will applaud the correct spelling of Beef Bourguignon, of course.”
I was thinking the ‘a’ in Chicken Korma was poorly printed. 🙂
Cheers
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My wife and I spent a week in Wisbech one evening.
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Oh, very good, Sir.
The museum is a thing of beauty, but it’s only open when you’re not there.
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