Well, unless I really am ghost-writing this rubbish, I clearly survived Cinderford. No joking; I’d had more warnings about this place than anywhere I’ve ever been. And I’ve been to Coatbridge. And Panama.
It was hotter than Panama at Christmas as I arrived in town on Thursday night to find the 8,000 souls enjoying the sun on the promenade.
Actually, it’s not that bad, just plain. If you lived in Carluke you’d probably do a house swap. I’d say the same about similar old English mining villages like Grimethorpe or Fitzwilliam, but of course no-one ever leaves Barnsley.
The wall mural seems to commemorate EMF (Ecstatic Mo Fo), the town’s most famous musical export, cruelly dismissed as one-hit wonders by some.
I ordered a crispy beef from the rather plain takeaway, and explored the central square.
A few pubs dotted round the suburbs, but like a Garden City there’s not much in the centre, just the Golden Lion (last surveyed in 2013) and the newish Dog House. When the local CAMRA branch haven’t surveyed the sole central pub for 5 years you know you’re in trouble.
That lack of central boozers meant a subdued atmosphere. Except in the Dog House, formerly one of a trio of canine micros (also in Coleford and Newnham). Surely a possible pre-emptive tick at least.
It became clear instantly that this was the social club, not the beer exhibition. EVERYONE was drinking Carling. My Goffs was served in a Carling glass.
Note the meat raffle and keg OSH, always a reassuring sight.
Really cheery service too, couldn’t fault it, with seating in the alley or on some weird beer barrel concoctions.
As you just saw, one real ale (hurrah !), A Goffs oddity probably last pulled in 2013 (NBSS 0.5). But the pub was worth the £1.40 as entry to a weird museum.
No obvious loo (it’s tiny and the shops were closed) so I had to head to the hills. You’ll be wondering where I tipped the undrinkable Goffs in the absence of pot plants, won’t you ?
Wonder on.
EMF?? You’re overlooking the musical genius that was Jimmy Young?
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AC/DC ?
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Closer to Jimmy Crankie
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One of England’s least pubbed towns over the years, in GBG terms. Good set of posts though risky comparators! Haven’t been to this one and know there is another micropub in nearby Newent. Gloucestershire also provides variety.
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“Take your pick” is evidently more the statue than the beer choice.
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Oh, well done Sir !
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Some people do leave Barnsley (and I still go back regularly). This chap also did, via Stafford and coincidentally ended up in the Forest of Dean – http://beyondthetrenches.co.uk/minnie-pit-mine-safety-and-the-first-world-war/
I noticed the meat raffle is £2 a strip and immediately saw the parity with ‘the price of a pint’ argument. If you have ever run a raffle, do not fall into the trap of selling individual tickets, albeit for the same price as a strip. No one will buy them. Despite having the same chance of winning, many purchasers do not perceive the purchase of a single ticket (or multiples thereof) to have the same value as a whole strip of 5 tickets (or multiples thereof).
It’s exactly the same with a price of a pint, perceived value anchored to a point in time somewhere in the past, usually distant. If the current price does not accord with this memory point, or increases at any time, then these individuals are up in arms, and loudly cry, ‘How Much!’ At the same time, they will however accept intermittent increments in their income.
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You’re the second most famous person to abandon the motherland…
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More famous than Darren Gough, Mick McCarthy, Dickie Bird, Michael Parkinson, Saxon (shite!), Ed Clancy (know his Dad, real one, not his new one), Roy Mason, Brian Glover, Jon Stones (Same school as me, his Grandad was a mate of my Grandad), Ashley Jackson, Harry Worth, Arthur Scargill (wanker (and it said so for many years on the side of Dodsworth pit, where he was paid to work (but never actually worked))?
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Use to love Saxon.
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As Arthur Scargill celebrated his eightieth birthday in January I’m sure he reflected on a live more eventful than most of us have known.
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Irrespective of politics, I admired Arthur for keeping a clean desk, something I aspired to myself.
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Pete Brown has also left Barnsley – they cheered him on his way 😉
Maybe “micropub” gets lost in translation between Herne and Cinderford.
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Ha ! Don’t read much of Pete but he’s right about cask’s demise.
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But isn’t a meat raffle a bit of a gamble ?
And might that be why some, though not us of course, would rather get a bargain from an alleyway pub ?
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Life’s a gamble mate, life’s a gamble. That’s why I keep out of some pubs, I like the odds in my favour!
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At first I thought all the warnings were due to the maniac with the pick axe, but apparently word of the NBSS 0.5 beer has gotten around.
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Yeh, I was at least 3 streets away from the stabbings and bestiality.
You do realise I might have to go back one day ?
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Don’t take your sister. Actually she might be OK, they tend to go for their own sisters…
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“Yeh, I was at least 3 streets away from the stabbings and bestiality.”
I read that quickly as taking a stab at bestiality, probably due to the lack of the womens.
(so… sort of like Scotland but not as picky?)
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No answer to that.
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There aren’t many more pubs in the centre of Cinderford even if you turn off the “real ale” filter. There seem to be more on the southern fringes in Stockwell Green and Littledean. Maybe a typical sprawly, indeterminate former mining area.
Needless to say, it doesn’t feature in my current Twitter poll on “England’s Most Beautiful Towns”…
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Oddly, before I saw it the first time, coming off the A40, “Cinderford in the heart of the Forest of Dean, close to the Wye”, promised a lot.
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“Nice view out of town”
Planning an escape route? 😉
“Uniquely named Chinese”
I think they realised chopsticks wouldn’t cut it in Cinderford. 🙂
“or on some weird beer barrel concoctions.”
Blimey.
“Actually looks better than it was”
Hang on. That glass says Grolsch, not Carling at the bottom.
“Wonder on.”
Maybe those weird barrel thingies double as toilets?
Cheers
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Oh yes, toilet at your seat. You may be on to something, Russ.
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They might as well have called it the “We Have Given Up On Coming Up With an Interesting Name” Chinese Takeaway. 😉
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That wouldn’t surprise you either ! Actually, you rarely seen Anglicisation of Chinese takeaway names, unless it’s really a fish shop (“Golden Fish” is common up north).
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That is a proper Micropub! You can’t beat a bit of EMF!!!
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Stick to Carling and you’ll be fine…
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