As Summer drags on, a PubMan’s thoughts turns to Gloucestershire, one of the counties I’ve never completed. Despite it being virtually on my doorstep (compared to Shetland, anyway).
The A14/M6/M42/M5 takes you past some of our most picturesque roadworks, en route to a dismal collection of budget hotels and “aparthotels” (hovels) that I’ll spare you.
“Tewkes“, as it’s known by no-one at all, has had a quiet time of it in the Beer Guide lately, relying on some pubs run by (whisper it) family brewers (top), a free house and a Spoons hotel.
The arrival of a British Legion in the Guide is a bit of a surprise, in the same way that a Brunning & Price in central Oldham would raise eyebrows. I guess it’s their turn.
I turned up on some sort of “Medieval day”, with loads of families in overheated cars subjecting their children to archery, peregrine falcon chess and overpriced cheese. You’ll be horrified to know that many visitors were carrying umbrellas. To keep the sun out.
The town looked rather splendid, from the Abbey,
to the flags outside houses indicating allegiance to particular craft brewers,
to the new micro pub on stilts by the Severn.
Somewhere in my mancave I have a little booklet (20p) showing all the little alleys off the main streets. You never know what you’ll find down them, or who you’ll annoy by noseying around. I recommend them.
The new Guide entry may be the poshest British Legion you’ll ever see.
Perhaps they’ve got Brunning & Price in to run it?
Er, no.
“Y’allright bud ?”
“Half of Holdens. And a cheese and onion bap, please” “Er, I mean a cob”.
The total cost of this feast is £2.50, which will buy you two olives in the Farmers’ Market.
I enjoy it (a bit) in front of Her Majesty, who seems less impressed by the banging R’n’B soundtrack. She’d have scored the Golden Glow as 2.5 as well.
“You waiting for Steve, then ?”
I denied it, but somehow the damage was already done.
retiredmartin 
I think Liz is renowned as difficult to please on her ale scoring… she’d have probably given it 1.5. And she’d definitely have asked for a cheese cob. No one calls it a bap 😀
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Did HM give out medals at Leyland DAF and did you ask about cobs ?
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It was the bloke who played football and cricket for England but can’t terememb his nsne! He said it was cobs though I remember thst
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That’ll do for me ! (Botham ???)
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Compton!!!
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The externally lovely Berkeley Arms was the scene of one of my worst pub food experiences of all time 😦
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Oh yes, classic. I had a vague recollection of you visiting the Berkeley, and it certainly looks the part ! Have you ever had a Spoons ploughman (does it even do one ?)
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Spoons haven’t done a ploughman’s for years. It was OK, but it had more pork pie than cheese, which wouldn’t suit everyone. This is the source of Cookie’s gibes about inappropriate ploughman’s ingredients.
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Too much effort to prepare a ploughmans for a fiver, as well.
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Spoons are ruthless at culling poorly-selling or unprofitable items from their menus.
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And under-performing pubs. Mark of a good company, if not a loved one.
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It’s a question that’s often bugged me.
Where did those original ploughmen keep the Brandon Pickle ?
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They actually invented those little plastic and foil containers in 1481, but kept quiet as patent law was embryonic then.
As you highlight, Brandon in Norfolk was the original source before the name was corrupted to Branston for trademark reasons.
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“Brass Castle, Cloudwater and Marston’s”
Not sure about the yellow and black one but that first is obviously Three Ravens brewery in Thornbury while the middle one is most likely that little known brewery famous for cake and bread tasting beers… Lyons. 😉
“to the new micro pub on stilts by the Severn.”
I like how the outside seating area is shaded.
“And a cheese and onion bap, please” “Er, I mean a cob”.”
Is there an imaginary line to demarcate where it’s called a cob or a bap?
“She’d have scored the Golden Glow as 2.5 as well.”
£2.50 for a score of 2.5; makes sense. 🙂
Cheers
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Imaginary line ? It’s Drongfield Rd, which goes through the south of Upper Chopbury.
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Oh, £2.50 included the bap, by the way. Very good value for the town.
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This research gives you an idea of the distribution of different words for a bread roll – call it a bap map :
https://yougov.co.uk/news/2018/07/20/cobs-buns-baps-or-barm-cakes-what-do-people-call-b/
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It’s Shetland,not “the Shetlands”
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“It’s Shetland,not “the Shetlands””
Well, Wiki says they are also known as The Shetland Islands. 😉
Interesting point though. For most places in the English language we proceed it with a ‘the’ if it’s pluralised.
(i.e. Holland but The Netherlands; America but The United States; England but The United Kingdom; The Phillippines; The Bahamas) 🙂
Cheers
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Sometimes I feel I’m back at school writing this blog 😉
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“Shetland Islands” is OK but “Shetlands” is just plain wrong.
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I have duly corrected it to Shetland (singular). So should we not say “Faroes”, for “Faroe Islands” on same logic.
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The jury’s out on the Faroe Islands although Shetland people call them “Faroe”. “The Orkneys” is right out though.
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Shame you didn’t have the Mansfield. It could have been your first nought.
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I’ve only just read that paper clip now you’ve mentioned it. Blimey, Mansfield as a guest. How 2018.
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No doubt another product from those versatile folks in Wolverhampton.
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A rare spot these days. Perhaps a cheap beer for club market (a favourite of mine though). Odd there’s no clip.
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And Riding Bitter is the beer Mansfield brewed for the former Hull Brewery estate after they took it over and closed the brewery done.
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And Riding Bitter ?
Over here getting a ride means,well ….you know … how can I put it … what Mr Cholmondely-Warner used to call frightful unpleasantness.
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No, Riding Bitter was Hull Brewery’s first unfiltered beer for half a century.
XXXX, renamed Old Baily, was Mansfield’s first real ale for a long while.
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I miss Old Bailey. Mind, at 5% ( I think) it was seen as loopy juice (can I say that) back in the ’90s.
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It’s a barmcake! 🙂
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No, it’s actually a batch.
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I didnt know they used cob so far down south 😀 I had great pleasure recently in a pub in Leicester that sold proper cobs, calling them cobs quite a lot much to the chagrin of my barm loving husband
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While Tewkesbury is at the northern tip of Gloucestershire, in its character it’s really the southern tip of the Midlands.
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That’s true, and that reflects in the beer on offer.
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I thought the argument had been settled elsewhere? It’s a soft bread cake and you call it what you wish, roughly dependant on the locality where you were a) brought up or b) another locality where you reside, if you have lived there significantly longer than (a). It can of course be a crusty bread cake in which you insert ‘crusty’ before your chosen noun.
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Again the voice of reason intrudes upon the debate.
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It’s a bit like the guy who ordered a Denver Omelette for his friend who took a phone call, at the next table to me, in Las Vegas. The waitress asked what he would like in the omelette, to which he rudely replied, ‘Whatever they have in their omelettes in Denver.’
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Ignoring most of the comments about Mansfield Riding Bitter above I reckon you missed a classic beer there with its unassuming home made pump clip – must have been a 4.5 at least…we’ll never know🙄
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Don’t torment me, PubHermit…
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So after the best part of 30 years walking past it, here I am, Friday night in the last stronghold of Salopian beer in Tewk’ now the White Bear has closed. I like it, though the inner sanctum for ‘members’ seems better, by which I mean ‘better’ because it’s so tantalisingly out of reach.
The Oracle is sadly a bit syrupy, NBSS 7.5 I think. Doing the clubs this week, the YMCA tomorrow for the rugby. No real ales but a real skittle alley, so NBSS 8.3 I think 🤷♂️
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