I can only report what happens, you can censor it yourself by applying a Bass filter or something.
But I’m afraid this post starts with Vimto Piss. No, not the legendary punk band from Louth (No. 41 in the 1987 Festive 50 with “Oi, get off my tractor“), but the subject of debate amongst two delightful young ladies on their way into the informal toilet in Green Dragon Yard.
“Uggh, look at that pool of piss”
“I’ve been on the Vimto, it’ll be Vimto coloured piss now”
Even after a pint of banked Bass, I was shocked. Had she really been “on the Vimto” in the belief it was an alcopop ?
My sensibilities shocked, I needed parmo. Plenty of takeaways along Yarm Lane,
but I found Stockton’s best parmesan on Buzzfeed, in the smart (and packed) Italian restaurant with its own brand beer. If anyone knows which craft brewer knocks out Borge, let me know.
The parmesan was as good as it looks, the chips a bit soggy in the Italian way, the service efficient and swift. You can tell Borge is authentic from the correct spelling of “Banano Splitto” on the pudding menu.
The night was still young, but I couldn’t be bothered to visit one of the many new places that’ll be in GBG19/20, and I reckon the Golden Smog deserves every visit it gets. Partly because it’s down a dark, dingy alley.
And partly because I could see the Plum Porter through the grates.
Quite why I went for the Bristol, I’ve no idea, but it was cool and chewy and reminded me why I love this place (NBSS 4).
Quirky, friendly and with proper seating that allows you to chat or hide, it’s one of the very best micros.
AND they had free black pudding on the bar. At least, I hope it was free.
I just wish I’d worked out what the odd things in the Gents were.
In the morning I enjoyed the now customary Mushroom Benedict in a Spoons with healthy 9am lager trade.
I congratulated myself on my financial saving from picking 26 Outram over the brutalist Swallow Hotel,
and spent the difference on Kilimanjaro scotch eggs from the market. They were historic.
*I apologise to the residents of Doncaster, but following that town’s genetrification it’s no longer the most likely place in the UK to find this type of area.