A desperate attempt to weave Sham 69 into a blog post set only a few miles from Hersham, but these are desperate times.

Hersham boys probably not on the lash in Chertsey tbf

And Chertsey has an air of desperation the lovely church can’t dispel.

A church

EVERYONE in the main streets was wearing an office lanyard and a worn-down expression as they collected their meal deal and hurried back to their desks at Chunky Industrial and Global Think.

The depression was spreading; quite a few boarded-up pubs in an under-pubbed town.

Dead George

but at least the Prince Regent lives on in this wonderful (and flattering) pub sign.


Spotting the sign below, I though I’d found an unmarked micro pub on their usual Christmas break;


But it was just a printer ribbon shop.

Just for Duncan, I got a photo of an antique shop selling football programmes at ambitious prices.

Who knows, perhaps Duncan was there in ’68. In shorts.

In the historic quarter, lunch was just ending at the Olde Swan.

Olde Swan

As you see, a bit of a contrast from the Weir.  In fact, a bit like an Antic without the craft posturing.

Tea room chic

A cask line-up from the last century, too.  Apart from Doom Bar, which is cutting edge.


Peering over the bar suggested only the Doom had been poured that Wednesday, so again my choice was simple. (And I don’t like beers with novelty pump clips, Rebellion).

The DB, in its beautiful branded glass (just like those posh Belgian beers), was actually both cool and pleasant, scoring NBSS 3.5.  I now have 377 scores to input onto WhatPub, but since most of them are 3 it hardly matters.

The people’s choice

Befitting the décor, we had a selection of nostalgic tunes for gentlefolk, including this;

Cheapo lunches and some excellent bench seating (Chertsey style) sealed the deal. I’m easily pleased.


I make no comment on the live music offer,

Oh dear

but the music in the Gents would have been good if actually on a turntable. Five points for identifying The Smiths single.



    1. This is all an elaborate long con. Slag off Maidenhead (not hard), devalue the property then convert the Clinton Cards shop on the edge of the Red Light District (i.e. the Town Centre) into The Retired Martin. In 2 years, take over the Cons Club and reopen as a bottle bar.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. “(just like those posh Belgian beers)”

    Heh. 😄

    “Five points for identifying The Smiths single.”

    I made a single? 🤔🤗

    And that’s all I can write for now. Have to save money as I’m currently in Courtney sitting in the car while my lovelier better half is plonking down a few hundred dollars on some sort of swanky mixer for her kitchen. 😎


    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve just realised who Russ reminds me of.
    There’s a chap called Dave who pops into my local for a drink.He’s from Alabama so he’s called Alabama Dave.
    And he literally pops in from Alabama for a drink.
    Donkey’s years ago he came across a lively pub blog charting the lives of all the drinkers that a local kept in the days before everyone communicated through social media.
    From that accidental click of his mouse he’s built up a love affair with the pub,its regulars and the Irish town we live in.
    As a world-travelled university professor he shoe-horned diversions to the pub into his European lecturing tour or would sometimes come over and check into a hotel to spend the days writing some highbrow thesis and the nights with the lowbrow locals supping stout.
    His kids grew up following all the comings and goings,the feuds,the affairs and every other bit of minutiae that is the living soap opera of an everyday pub.
    And this fellow is no Plastic Paddy yahoo in mockya leprechaun hat but a quiet,unassuming Yank ( they do exist ) who even though he’s now retired still flies across the Atlantic for important events in the pub calendar.
    I had a pint with him last week and asked what he was over for.He told me he’s sold the family’s holiday home in New Mexico and was house-hunting locally for somewhere close to the pub.
    He’d seen one place but it was too far to walk and all uphill.
    I pointed out that he had spent years happily flying thousands of miles to get to the place but now couldn’t be arsed to walk less than one mile.
    We laughed and agreed the Irish had finally rubbed off on him.
    That’s why I love pubs.

    Liked by 4 people

      1. Panic on the streets of London
        Panic on the streets of Birmingham
        I wonder to myself
        Could life ever be sane again?
        The Leeds side-streets that you stagger down
        I wonder to myself
        Hopes may rise on the Grasmere
        But Honey Pie, you’re not safe here
        So you run down
        To the safety of the town
        But there’s Panic on the streets of Carlisle
        Dublin, Dundee, Humberside
        I wonder to myself

        Burn down the micro-pub
        Hang the blessed beerblogger
        Because the beer that they constantly pour
        Hang the blessed beerblogger
        Because the beer they constantly pour

        On the Leeds side-streets that you stagger down
        Provincial towns you jog ’round

        Hang the beerblogger, etc, etc

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Liked the pub but missed that shop when in Chertsey. Have many with that cover but missed that match. The club are currently trying to emulate a retro-style return to the third tier.

    Enjoyed Professor Pie-Tin’s post.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. The fifth tier really wins this award – all the top destinations off the pitch, from Ember Inns in Wrexham to Halifax micros, with a certain conservative club thrown in for good measure.
        Struggling to plan anything decent for Boreham Wood next month, mind.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I sense a total descent into Doom Bar – ism (other mass produced bland ales are available), I fear you may soon start to lose readers if you continue in this vein.

    I never knew that’s what the little holes in the middle of 45’s were for. Scary play list – Free, Smiths and the Jacksons.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Wikipedia is a wonderful thing! Your first picture of the football programmes piqued my interest as I originally hail from Scunthorpe. So, what was the score in that match and how did the season finish?

    Well, hot off the teleprinter I can tell you that the final score was Brentford 2; Scunthorpe United 1. It wasn’t a great season for either team – Brentford finished 19th (out of 26) and Scunthorpe were 2 points ahead in 18th place (Up the Iron!) The only reason Scunthorpe had those two extra points was because Exeter City failed to turn up for their match and Scunthorpe were awarded the points! (It’s a funny old game!)


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s