Just to prove I haven’t got it in for Barnsley (as I’ll no doubt need to return for another micro pub visit), I ended the night in Old No.7, which I guess is better than False No. 9 for a pub name.
My last pint was either going to be here, in the Cons Club (fail) or one of the two Wetherspoons, so you can see what an agonising choice it was.
I obviously rated No. 7 highly 5 years ago, scoring a 4 for beer and highlighting it in gold on my famous spreadsheet. As you’ll see (top), it looks gorgeous from the outside.


On Thursday night it was Barnsley. Lots of ordinary folk of all ages here, out for a “pub night” rather than a beer tasting. Just standing at the bar I saw six different pumps used, a rarity on a pub visit these days.
And like all great “Proper Pubs“, it was playing “Gold” by Spandau Ballet. Some things never change in Barnsley.
What I most like is that they promote their own beers in their Tap, so you’ll always get a top pint of their classic Bitter. Served slightly less chilled than the Yorkshire norm, it was close enough to NBSS 4 on my scientific rating to maintain the retiredmartin 3 ticks.
The only downside is that as a long, thin bar, the proper seating is a bit limited at 10pm, so you’re stuck along the wall on high seats. But I can forgive that when the post-Question Time banter* is so good. There is a downstairs bar but I’m scared of heights.
Mrs RM has reminded me that on that New Years Eve 25 years ago she was offered a Cinzano infused coffee as a post pizza nightcap (they didn’t know what Tia Maria was). I couldn’t find that pizzeria, but the eloquently named “Yummy” did a sweet and sour pork with rice for £5.10 to keep me within budget.

*I know they’ve been to Question Time as one of them is wearing a waistcoat.
I’m still confused by the false no 9 position….Gold is always a winner in any bar at any time….great frontage…Two top posts about Barnsley…cheers!
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A false No.9 is one who doesn’t score any goals, a Peter Davenport if you like.
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My lot have false numbers 2 through to 11 on that basis.
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Fantastic! We’ve had a succession of those at St Andrew’s recently!
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Gold? I thought it was mandatory for Barnsley pubs to play Saxon on constant loop. Although with a name like Old No. 7 I’d have assumed it was the distillery tap for Jack Daniels.
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I have NEVER heard Saxon played in a pub. At the age of 15, my musical tastes switched from Joy Division and Crass to Saxon and Motorhead, so I got Strong Arm of the Law for Christmas. NWOBHM phase lasted six months.
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About the length of time that it took to produce all the stuff that was worthwhile really. Likely there is a bar somewhere near Dusseldorf that plays exclusively heavy metal from 1980-82. It’ll have one beer, allow (compulsory) smoking and have a Jagermeister dispense system.
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That, Sir, is why Germany is the greatest country on earth (they could swap the heavy metal for 2017 female alt. folk though).
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Or Darkwave, the number of obscure Gothic/Fetish acts who headline arenas in Germany but have never been allowed out of the country is amazing. Something like Wave-Gotik-Treffen must be one of the most underground festivals in the world.
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So THAT’S where the Sex Gang Children ended up ! All makes sense now.
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The entire Fledermaushöhle scene surely?
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Isn’t that in Cornwall ?
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“That, Sir, is why Germany is the greatest country on earth ”
Ahh, Germany. Where I saw Wayne Country and the Electric Chairs perform* (with their most famous of songs of course).
Ooops, my mistake. By then it was Jayne County and the Electric Chairs. And she proved it was Jayne now, not Wayne, by um, exposing the south forty so to speak.**
Cheers
* – This was in Berlin before the Wall came down so maybe it shouldn’t be considered Germany per se. 🙂
** – Of course, on second thought he/she may have just tucked something between his/her legs as I do believe the name change did not include any physical ones. 😉
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FAR too much detail, Russ 😱
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Shudder stuck with Joy Division.
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In case anyone missed Question Time the highlight was a proper nowty Yorkie giving it both barrels to the Tories and Labour.
My old Mum who passed away in the summer was from Elsecar and Hoyland,just outside Barnsley and she would have approved tha’ knows.
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Good to know you’re from proper stock, Prof. You’ll know from my Hoyland post how highly I (and BRAPA) rate Elsecar and around.
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Surely it’s called Old No. 7 partly due to the… (drumroll) address? 🙂
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No, I don’t think so. That’s purely coincidental, Russ.
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“There is a downstairs bar but I’m scared of heights.”
Hmmm. And yet you’ll go up the stairs to check out an empty room with a genderless toilet. You do realize that, for all intents and purposes, going up then down is pretty much the same as going down then up*. 🙂
Cheers
* – Of course, I might very well be mistaken as I have a brother-in-law who has to sleep on the main floor of his house due to (supposed) walking difficulties, yet has no problem going down to the basement to play video games. 😉
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I sense you’re still struggling a bit with the overall concept of this blog, Russ. A spell in Maidenhead or Kingston-on-Thames would cure you.
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Naw; I just haven’t had enough beer yet in order to appreciate your, um, biting banter. 🙂
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Unspeakable rambling, I think you mean.
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Maidenhead or Kingston on Thames? God, you’re a hard man, RM.
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Tough times need tough measures, Bill.
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“Unspeakable rambling, I think you mean.”
To-may-to, to-mah-to. 🙂
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@Russtovich
Banter is never,ever biting.If it was it would be known as sarcasm or repartee.
Banter is more like what North Americans would know as joshing.
It’s piss-take without an edge.
You find a mate who is down on his luck and he’s giving you a huge spiel about the woes in his life so rather than sympathise with him you take the piss.Gently.
When someone’s getting ahead of themselves in the conversation and perhaps coming to a point where he might commit a faux pas that’s when a mate comes in with some well-timed interjection to pull him back from the brink.
As a rule banter should never be a comment aimed at a mate’s missus,children or,worst of all,his car.We’re each dealt hands in life we don’t have much control over.Yes,of course we’d all like something low-slung,fast and with a babe in the front passenger seat but the reality is ….well,reality really.
Ultimately banter should be the gentle well-intentioned shredding of your best mates’ defences but without leaving them vulnerable,ashamed or pissed-off.
And being prepared for retaliation.
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One should never put a baby in the front seat of the car, Russ. Take no notice of the Prof.
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It’s all good Martin. 🙂
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“As a rule banter should never be a comment aimed at a mate’s missus,children or,worst of all,his car.”
Many thanks Prof, but you missed the most important one… his beer! (LOL) 🙂
Seriously I appreciate the explanation (honest!). It’s nice to know some of us out in the great wild Net aren’t simply into 100% snark.
Mind you, that being said:
“Banter is never,ever biting.If it was it would be known as sarcasm or repartee.”
*cough* http://www.thesaurus.com/browse/sarcasm?s=t *cough*
(check out the first synonym)* 🙂
Cheers!
* I was going for an alliterative response; hence banter to go with biting 🙂
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How many pubs are in your top 100 pubs at the moment ?
We seem to be getting a couple per week, so it feels like the top 1,000.
Can we actually see the league table please ? Or is poetic licence at play ?
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I’m an accountant; there’ll be 3,525 in my Top 100. Asking me for the detailed papers ? This isn’t Brexit you know.
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That is the true genius of the Top 100. Not a list, but a quality.
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Just seen that Dave. Wise words indeed, There may be many more than a 100, it’s more of a 5 Star rating (not the music group).
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I will do a special League Table Fred, but bear in mind I haven’t been to all the pubs yet !
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Top 100? I’d struggle to do a top 10 from memory. But, in no particular order…
Square & Compasses, Worth Matravers, Dorset
Digby Tap, Sherborne, Dorset
Rose & Crown (Eli’s), Huish Episcopi, Somerset
Oxford Bar, Edinburgh
White Horse (Nellie’s), Beverley, Yorkshire
Black Horse (Kicker), Clapton in Gordano, Bristol
Blue Flame, Nailsea, Somerset
State Bar, Glasgow
Haunch of Venison, Salisbury
Crown Posada, Newcastle
Hmm. Not too much of a struggle after all.
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Those are (or were when I visited) all great pubs, Bill. Blue Flame is the oddity there, never heard of that one. Slight south-western bias. Nothing from Stockport !
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So there are provisions therein ?
Having said that, if you are being prudent, surely your top 100 pubs would consist of 35.25 pubs rather than 3,525 pubs ?
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Ah, the Blue Flame. First time I was there the bloke behind the bar asked my mate and if we would like some music on. Yes, we said. Which Neil Young album, he said. American Stars & Bars, we said. All were happy.
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My mate and I, obviously
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Old Number 7 – think it’s a reference to Jack Daniels and the Devil Makes Three song ‘Old Number 7’. Back in the day, when I were a lad, the Number 7 was not a place for pub tickers, beer drinkers or normal people. Snake bite was the order of the day, long shaggy coats that smelled of patuli and wet dog, ditto hair, a smattering of Lemmy lookalikes in biker jackets. Downstairs was a punk stronghold. It was the place your mum referred to by saying – you’ve not been going in that Old Number 7 place again have you? Well yes, I did a bit, and then I moved on, Barnsley never really did, I don’t think it really wants to neither. It’s nice to see there are a couple of decent boozers in town now, there never really was in the centre, not the ones I went into anyway. There was a rumour going round once that John Smiths used to have one big tank somewhere in the centre of town and all the pubs had a pipe running from it. Like you say in a previous post there are some beautiful little villages around Barnsley with some belting pubs. You been to The Rose & Crown at Hoylandswaine, The George at Upper Denby, or The Dog & Partridge at Bord Hill? Top pubs, top ale. Many happy memories. Take you out there if you want, guided tour sort of thing.
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Guide tour of chippies, perhaps. The Dog & Partridge is the one we were discussing with Si when we should have been paying attention to Roger, wasn’t it ? The one in Hazelhead/Flouch ?
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Yeah, my mates Dad had it for a good while in the 70’s early 80’s, I used to go for tea after school and all that.
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Dog & Partridge. Great pub name.
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