September 2026. Headingley. Leeds.
Five minutes on the train to Burley Park (I walked the two miles back through the endless Uni quarter to Leeds Station), home to the Brudenell and countless enticing Asian eateries, and then you emerge in graceful Headingley.
At times Leeds culture seems dominated by the ghosts of Bielsa and Boycott and the Burley Banksy;
out in the northern suburbs you’re struck by the grace and beauty of buildings like the Golden Beam.
It’s a very grand place, built for the Church of Christ, Scientist a century ago and used as a girl’s school until falling into neglect till Spoons took it over.
You’d think the genteel residents of leafy Headingley would be grateful to Sir Tim for restoring their heritage, but all they did was oppose the planning applications.
I get my abacus out to compute the best lunch deal.
Korean chicken with a beer is £10.22, with a “soft drink” it’s £8.69, so my pint will need to cost at least £1.53 more than my normal £1.63 San Pellegrino to make the “pint with lunch” deal better. Are you keeping up ?
My chewy pint of Kirkstall Dissolution costs only £2.39 on Monday to Wednesday, even less thanks to the 50p CAMRA vouchers I’m using in a hurry now the new Beer Guide is out.
They should send children into Spoons to learn maths.
There aren’t any children in the Golden Beam. Or genteel ladies who lunch. In fact, all the trade seems to be blokes like me drinking cheap beer. So perhaps the middle classes of Headingley who reckoned there’s already enough places for them were right.
A man with a can of Guiness 0.0 scrapes the rocket off his artisanal pizza. It’s a metaphor. Or something.
Are you allowed to use words like ‘artisanal” in Spoons? Sounds a bit foreign.
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Only if you pay thru’ the app.
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“Genteel residents of leafy Headingley”?
Look. It’s in West Yorkshire. Some have simply got more “brass” – as they call it – than others, Martin.
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My ‘posh’ friends from York are doing a house sit just round the corner in a leafy lane, next week, so I think thats who Martin might be referring to
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…and boy will they let everyone know if they have.
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“Scrapes the rocket off his artisanal pizza?” That sounds positively obscene.
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I was more bothered about it being the only edible bit of the meal. But quite possibly obscene too, now that you mention it.
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Not sure the Scientologists were around 100 years ago. Might it have been the Christian Scientists?
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You are right, Bill.
I saw Church of Christ, Scientist and assumed they were Scientologists. Scientolgists are the ones who used to stop you in the street and give you a personality test that told you you’re doomed, aren’t they ?
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Don’t think I ever had that pleasure. Normally if approached by a member of a religious sect, I just pretend to be Polish. Usually works.
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S**t.
Were they right about everything else too?
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But “Sorry. No coffee, no beer and more than one wife isn’t for me” usually works !
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Bill, who was it who responded to an expected knock at the door by the FBI with “Ah, that’ll be the J. Hoover’s Witlesses”?
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I took one of those scientology tests some years ago and was deemed not messed up enough to join them. No exaggerating, that is what happened. The dials on their little machine they hooked you up to obviously told the truth.
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Blimey ! I find that really hard to believe (of the Scientologists, not you, Lana).
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The chap who sat me down for questioning probably got disfellowshipped for not tinkering with the gauge on the little device they use so as to entrap me.
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;-0
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The Spoons’ interior looks magnificent – reminds me of a library or a university refectory.
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or a refurbished barn ?
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St Albans is my favourite Spoons.
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Yes Martin, Tim’s only barn that’s a proper, albeit relocated, barn.
Lana would like it.
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All looks wonderful and no kids in the Spoonies. Absolute bonus.
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I thought Headingly sounded familiar. On a quick check I went to this event held at The Newlands Centre.
“In 2005, the UK raw food and superfood pioneer Shazzie (Sharon Holdstock) visited Headingley, Leeds to deliver an influential talk on raw foodism, holistic nutrition, and the health benefits of raw cacao.”
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Sounds unmissable. I guess places like Headingley that are sports venue (also : St Andrews, Goodison Park, etc) are better known to sports fans.
Incidentally, if you’re in that area again the Marks & Spencers Archive in Leeds Uni’s western campus is a little gem.
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Thanks for that tip. I will also share it with my pal who moved up to the Leeds area this year.
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Lana, Did raw food pioneer Shazzie advocate eating raw meat ?
I ask because in Manchester five weeks ago I learnt of William Cowherd who founded the Bible Christian Church in King Street, Salford during 1809. To join the church members had to sign a pledge that committed them to a vegetarian diet because he believed that “…If God had meant us to eat meat, then it would have come to us in edible form ‘as is the ripened fruit'”
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She was a strict vegan, maybe still is. What you saw sounds similar to the Seventh Day Adventists – a cult. Jesus was not a vegetarian/vegan. Scripture documents Him eating fish, lamb and honey. I saw a very unusual looking church when I went to Salford – New Harvest.
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Thanks Lana. And having converted water to wine Jesus, unlike William Cowherd, probably didn’t abstain from alcoholic drinks.
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