TAKE THE STRAIGHT LINE TO HEADCORN

September 2026. Headcorn. Kent.

We settled my father-in-law at the Queen Vic Hospital, the most notable thing about East Grinstead, in a room decorated with this painting of a cricket ground with the shortest boundary in Kent.

Just as I always tell you that young people are great, and CAMRA does a marvellous job (but should give beer festivals a rest), so again let me praise the great kindliness of the NHS staff.

I won’t tell you what Michael was in for, you’re probably having your tea, but his overnight stay at least meant I got a quick trip out before overseeing his recuperation.

Bus to Tonbridge, one of the pubby glamour towns these days, with just long enough to admire Jemima,

and regret the late opening of the Nelson,

before catching a train to a Maidstone commuter village.

The line east is as dead straight as it looks on the rail diagram,

and I realise why houses in the South-East cost double what they do in The North (of Stoke) as I board a train that a) has seats and b) isn’t cancelled.

A first ever pub in Headcorn, if you discount the Golf Club Hotel we stayed in two years ago. And I would.

The village itself would be described as “cute” by an American visitor, who would then complain of a lack of air conditioning, free iced water, and ranch dressing.

My (cough) recommended pub is solid rather than spectacular,

but the White Horse does have the full range of dustbins, including the red ones for 2026 Good Beer Guides.

Half a dozen customers, two pumps, the right ratio.

It’s a very London overspill sort of Kent pub, mildly sweary blokes discussing apple crumble, the clammy weather and “taking me and the old girl to Hastings for the day“. The sort of comfy pub Simon and I like more than the dining pub with lots of “interesting” (ugh) guest beers.

It’s always 1983 in this sort of boozer, so you’re going to get “Billy Jean” and “Every Breath You Take“ rather than “Choosin’ Texas” or Mahler’s Eighth.

The trade is Guinness and fruit cider, but you can sense when a pub can keep a decent pint of cask, and the Tonbridge Trad is cool and rich (VERY GOOD).

Right, you’ll be wanting to see the church and a craft bar, I guess ?

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Published by retiredmartin

Retired NHS, doing long walks around UK and the world to record the great bits. Focused on Good Beer Guide pubs and live music.

17 thoughts on “TAKE THE STRAIGHT LINE TO HEADCORN”

  1. I would like to hear top drinking tips around Kings Cross / Euston on a Sunday and Monday, I only really know Euston tap, Parcels Yard, Scottish stores and a not visited yet King Charles…
    Seeing Jim Jones Revue and the magnificent Spitfire there soon..

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    1. Spoilt for choice within 10 minutes walk, Rich.

      King Charles I is the standout, also Skinners Arms on Judd Street, Queen’s Head on Acton Street, Somers Town Coffee house for the interior, Doric Arch (Fullers) at Euston, and Calthorpe Arms on Grays Inn Road.

      Enjoy.

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      2. Cheers Martin and everyone, thats plenty to go at, at least I won’t wither away and die of thirst now.

        I had a rather shocking experience in that Doric Arch earlier this year, not my team Leeds getting walloped by Chelsea at Wembley later in the day, but the price of a pint when I hadn’t got my Camra card with me, 20% off still takes them the eye watering London prices, fortunately my mate had his when he turned up a few mins after. And no, I couldn’t wait, drink less, just to save about £2 !!

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      3. RR, Nine days ago in the Doric Arch I was asked if I was a CAMRA member – and must admit to being the right age – and so had my pint of ESB reduced from £6.50 to £5.20. Shepherd Neame’s Spitfire had been less at £6.60 in the Bloomsbury Tavern but my other four pints were more -Greene King IPA at £6.70 in the Museum Tavern, Humphreys OBB £6.70 in the Angel and the Princess Louise and TT Landlord £6.90 in the Enterprise.
        I did though get a pint of Vintage Ale for half price several years ago in the Doric Arch, the till apparently only pricing it as halves and it not occurring to the barman that two of those make a pint !

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      4. My outstanding pint of Kent Pale in the Clement Atlee (part of the Craft chain) was £4.95 last Saturday, and I’ve heard reports of quality cask for a fiver in the Euston Tap and similar, so it’s not all bad.

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      6. I didn’t know that, Alan, and probably quite a recent acquisition, Miles’s first pub north of the Thames.
        I quite often used the Calthorpe Arms, surely the only pub in which was held an inquest that concluded the death of a police constable was justifiable homicide, that being from the Coldbath Field riots of 1833.
        I also quite often used the nearby Pakenham Arms,

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  4. Stafford Paul.

    Those prices are all great, far removed from what I paid too (and yes, at 62, I am ‘in the age bracket’ !! )

    Just checked on my Starling app, Sunday 26th April 12.27. £9.70. Sadly, can’t remember the pint, Oakham Citra or similar, nothing weirdly rare or strong.

    The pint for a half thing is funny 😁

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