retiredmartin

September 2026. Headcorn. Kent.

We settled my father-in-law at the Queen Vic Hospital, the most notable thing about East Grinstead, in a room decorated with this painting of a cricket ground with the shortest boundary in Kent.

Just as I always tell you that young people are great, and CAMRA does a marvellous job (but should give beer festivals a rest), so again let me praise the great kindliness of the NHS staff.

I won’t tell you what Michael was in for, you’re probably having your tea, but his overnight stay at least meant I got a quick trip out before overseeing his recuperation.

Bus to Tonbridge, one of the pubby glamour towns these days, with just long enough to admire Jemima,

and regret the late opening of the Nelson,

before catching a train to a Maidstone commuter village.

The line east is as dead straight as it looks on the rail diagram,

and I realise why houses in the South-East cost double what they do in The North (of Stoke) as I board a train that a) has seats and b) isn’t cancelled.

A first ever pub in Headcorn, if you discount the Golf Club Hotel we stayed in two years ago. And I would.

The village itself would be described as “cute” by an American visitor, who would then complain of a lack of air conditioning, free iced water, and ranch dressing.

My (cough) recommended pub is solid rather than spectacular,

but the White Hart does have the full range of dustbins, including the red ones for 2026 Good Beer Guides.

Half a dozen customers, two pumps, the right ratio.

It’s a very London overspill sort of Kent pub, mildly sweary blokes discussing apple crumble, the clammy weather and “taking me and the old girl to Hastings for the day“. The sort of comfy pub Simon and I like more than the dining pub with lots of “interesting” (ugh) guest beers.

It’s always 1983 in this sort of boozer, so you’re going to get “Billy Jean” and “Every Breath You Take“ rather than “Choosin’ Texas” or Mahler’s Eighth.

The trade is Guinness and fruit cider, but you can sense when a pub can keep a decent pint of cask, and the Tonbridge Trad is cool and rich (VERY GOOD).

Right, you’ll be wanting to see the church and a craft bar, I guess ?