July 2026. Whitley Bay.
A Monday night on the Toon gives an unencumbered man many options. Though not, sadly, the micro pub in Seaton Delavel, which would have been a nice tick on the Northumberland line if open.
I drop my bag at the easyHotel, which has impressive tiling,
but some technical issues. A lady asks me into her room to “check her air-conditioning” (not a euphemism), and I escape after telling her to switch it off and on again.
Many visitors to Newcastle would head straight to the classics, with the Crown Posada next door,
or explore the centuries of history in those town walls,
or try to visit all 23 branches of Greggs in the city centre.
Despite completing the Beer Guide, I still feel compelled to visit all the new GBG entries, even if the last newbie is an uninspiring Spoons in Whitley Bay.
At grubby Manors underground station, two teenage girls approach me.
“Have you got a pound mister, she’s short for the tram”.
Well, they picked on the right sucker; I DID have a spare quid, albeit in silver. And despite my assumption it would be used to fund a Newkie Brown Ale habit, they did follow me on to the Whitley Bay service moments later, so I could feel I was encouraging a lifetime of law-abiding public transport use.
The Fire Station looks quite colourful, housed in its own little courtyard, flags taunting CAMRA with “craft cider” adverts.
As I say, an unsatisfactory place to finish any Beer Guide chapter, but a great carpet,
a return of the £1.60 (with coupon) VERY GOOD pint of Jaipur,
and a sense that all human life is here.
Or if they’re not, they’re on the beach, eating chips.
retiredmartin 
I’m not sure that Fireman’s Pole Dancing will catch on, really.
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…but with Donald Trump’s being a Village People fan who knows?
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Hey mister can you….
a) check my air con
b) give ne a pound fer tomatoes
The usefulness of the middle aged man is still alive….
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What type of woman asks a strange man into their hotel room?! I even hate a TV fix it legit hotel staff guy coming in.
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I didn’t go in Lana !
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Lana, he says he didn’t go in, but thats just for Christine’s benefit.
We know how the plot works, confessions of a plumber/tv repairman/air con engineer etc etc. 😁😁
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As it’s a diary I’m obliged to write down everything, even when that’s a bad idea.
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And Martin is the definition of a strange man…..
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A man can tell when he’s old as these things stop happening.
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Almost middle aged, Rich !
I know my place.
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I’ve been twice to the Fire Engine. Happy days. The Spoonies are cheaper up there too.
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If staying next door, the Crown Posada is obviously the last pint of the evening. Would be rude not to really.
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When something is on your doorstep it’s often the thing you don’t do. There were some days I was staying in Waterbeach when I didn’t go to Chung Hwa.
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