THAT 18 MINUTES IN GRANTHAM SPOONS IN FULL

July 2026. Grantham.

From Sheffield to Waterbeach to see Dad and back in the same day isn’t ideal. But I don’t really want to be hanging around in Cambridge when I could be back with Mrs RM, planning the next leg of our epic Cask Camino (which hit a slight big snag this afternoon).

Life has been a lot easier since Sunnyside was sold. Previously there was the mental stress of having to make that weekly trip for insurance reasons, an anguish that kicked in round about South Witham. Now, it’s just an achy shoulder at Grantham, from where I bring you the forensically authenticated* timings of my stop at the Tollemache.

I parked up outside Grantham’s museum at 19:23.

By 19.25 I’d plonked down, already ordering via the App, next to a couple of gentlefolk** who had clearly been perusing the menu for a while.

They didn’t seem to have seen a Spoons menu before. While they read out the entire ingredients of the curry meal, I ordered my usual.

The Erdinger Alkoholfrei arrived at 19.27; you need to arrive at Grantham Spoons about 9pm for the full Sodom & Gomorrah experience.

“But what does it COME with ?“

“I told ya ! Rice AND naan, but you can switch to a garlic naan. But please don’t“.

By the time my Sticky Korean Chicken with coconut rice arrived at 19.35, the husband was at the bar, discussing the fine details.

“And what drink do you want with that ?”

“What have they got ?“.

And at 19:43, I wiped my mouth, and headed out into the night, just as the husband sat down again to inform his wife what he’d ordered. The look they gave me as I left was a picture.

You’ll be wanting to see the picture I took outside the Tollemache at 19.44, I guess.

*Timings taken from the photos and Spoons receipt

**In truth they couldn’t have been that much older than me, and I’m barely middle-aged

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Published by retiredmartin

Retired NHS, doing long walks around UK and the world to record the great bits. Focused on Good Beer Guide pubs and live music.

11 thoughts on “THAT 18 MINUTES IN GRANTHAM SPOONS IN FULL”

      1. Mine were too, so I had 2 new half knee joints fitted, just before I retired.
        As my mate says, i’ll never be Usain Bolt or Thierry Henry quick, but i’d beat either of em from10 yards to the bar when that last order bell rings…..

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      2. My knees failed just turned 62 – forcing me to retire – four years before I got my bus pass.

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  4. Re that statue, I once shook hands with Margaret Thatcher. No, really. Coming up to Christmas 1978, she latched on to Santa’s parade through Wrexham and went around pressing the flesh. She abruptly stuck her hand out at me and, a bit shocked, I took it. Little did we know that in a few years, she would devastate all the local industry. (Don’t blame me, I was just a few months too young to vote in the 1979 election.) We were lucky to keep the Bass mirror factory. Of course, everything’s fine now, with the vast new industrial complex making Wrexham AFC merch.

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  6. …and re things Lincolnshire, I see that communist China are a bit sniffy about The People in a country (this one) taking into public ownership a Means Of Production (the Scunthorpe steel works). However can this be?

    Laugh of the day for me, that.

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