June 2026. Royal Tunbridge Wells.
I’d left Mrs RM in the cheap Tunbridge Wells Travelodge on Mount Ephraim at 3pm for my dash into West London, and as expected the call about tea came at 17:59 just as I was finishing that pint of Shere Drop in Teddington (yes, I took the call outside).
“I can bring you something back from Sainsbury’s, or we can meet in the Opera House just after 8 ?“.
Not only was she in the Spoons, she’d ordered the obligatory wings/prawns/pizza for £15 combo, AND bought a pint of Abbot “on special” (despite not drinking alcohol any more).
“How much did you pay for the Abbot ?”.
“£2.35“.
I bought her another pint for £1.85. I’m not saying that failure to use your CAMRA vouchers is grounds for divorce (by rights I should have given her half my sheet when they came), but that 50p sticks in the craw. Whatever a craw is.
Thinking myself superior, I eschewed the Abbot in favour of an Abbaye style beer from Faversham’s Mad Cat that the young folk at the bar had just ordered. Young folk drinking cask ! I blame that multi-million advert CAMRA just put on the socials.
It was undrinkable. Blimey, two in a week.
The Abbaye was replaced with the Abbot with Spoons’ customary grace, an exemplar of cheery customer service.
Four pints, 4,000 calories, a seat in a glorious old building watching Kentish life for under £30.
The busiest place in town by a mile, and for good reason.
retiredmartin 
Tim’s “on special”, or more often “Managers Special”, means that it’s fast approaching its sell by date – NOT that Tim has ever bought beer in cheap because it’s fast approaching its sell by date.
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