April 2026. Loftus. North Yorkshire.
I’d picked unsung Loftus for my campervan overnighter as it was free, a short bus ride to Staithes, and had a new GBG entry to tick.
Sadly that was shut on Thursday, but next door Mad Alice’s was just opening,
and I wasn’t going anywhere else.
I outed myself as a Camra immediately by looking at the hand pumps, all with no beer due to cooling issues, and settled on the Hawkstone IPA. You may laugh.
My info on Mad Alice comes mainly from park4night, which tells me this is a perfect place to get pissed luxuriate over a pint.
And it is. The guvnor is a gem, telling me the story of the bar, all of which I’ve forgotten.
My notes say “pink animal loses his helmet”,
and “The Chase” is full of particular idiots this week.
How does Simon remember so much detail?
Within 20 minutes the bar is full of the locals who keep the bar going, and I feel a bit of a spare part, though I know I’ll be back here soon with Mrs RM, and she won’t drink the Clarkson keg.
Honest, Jeremy, it really isn’t.
retiredmartin 
I’ve often wondered how Simon’s recall is so good. Pretty amazing.
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He doesn’t like company!
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How can you say anything remotely negative about a man who just let somebody have a million quid by knowing about Bass?
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This is a fair point.
He should have let Beavertown brew his beer though.
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He should have let Thornbridge brew it, and do Jaipur at £3 a pint, like his politically similar outlooked fellow publican Tim Wetherspoons does….
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It’s going to be interesting to see how Jaipur does this year. It’s not a regular sight in Spoons now, and I can’t see people who paid £2.50 last year willing to stretch to a fiver or more.
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I would have done all right, including the Bass one, but I don’t know any Japanese clothes brands. Totally snookered on that.
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Got confused, thinking you were referring to Simon initially, then was equally confused as i’d completely forgotten Clarkson presents the TV and assumed he’d had aln insanely generous pub quiz in his pub for marketing.
Dubowski correctly answered the final 15th question, which was: “Used since 1876, which trademarked logo is described in the James Joyce novel Ulysses and depicted in works by Manet and Picasso?”
Well, I never!
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I’d have guessed Microsoft.
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Interesting I quite like his lager and cider had some lager at our beer festival on Saturday night and I’m not really a fan of lager. Horses for courses I suppose.
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I’d have been delighted to say I enjoyed the Hawkstone, Tony, and I’ll try it again if I see it.
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