retiredmartin

April 2026. Loftus. North Yorkshire.

I’d picked unsung Loftus for my campervan overnighter as it was free, a short bus ride to Staithes, and had a new GBG entry to tick.

Sadly that was shut on Thursday, but next door Mad Alice’s was just opening,

and I wasn’t going anywhere else.

I outed myself as a Camra immediately by looking at the hand pumps, all with no beer due to cooling issues, and settled on the Hawkstone IPA. You may laugh.

My info on Mad Alice comes mainly from park4night, which tells me this is a perfect place to get pissed luxuriate over a pint.

And it is. The guvnor is a gem, telling me the story of the bar, all of which I’ve forgotten.

My notes say “pink animal loses his helmet”,

and “The Chase” is full of particular idiots this week.

How does Simon remember so much detail?

Within 20 minutes the bar is full of the locals who keep the bar going, and I feel a bit of a spare part, though I know I’ll be back here soon with Mrs RM, and she won’t drink the Clarkson keg.

Honest, Jeremy, it really isn’t.