February 2026. Turin.
And finally from Turin, a redemptive afternoon exploring the western half of the city, a half almost entirely ignored by the internet.
ChatGPT had summarised the internet and listed ten (10) highlights, somehow omitting the indoor markets,
both the historic fresh food hall visited by Pope John Paul,
and a modern food court that looks the rival of Mackie Mayor,
but the beer range doesn’t match the quality of the foccacia.
You’re in the old Roman settlement now (Quadrilatero),
and you’ll find the original Bicerin cafe here,
but it’s the Basilica of Saint Mary of Consolation across the road that’s unmissable, unless you’re ChatGPT.
We pressed on, in search of youthful Turin. I’d asked about “vibrant areas, converted industrial warehouse type of things“, and got OGR, a reinvention of former rail repair depot.
It took ages to find the entrance, and within you find what feels like a hotel lobby, so I had a Peroni, the ultimate hotel lobby beer.
Yes, that’s a giant jar of wasabi nuts (and something else). I’d just paid £6 for a Peroni; I scoffed the lot.
A boy meets a girl. They talk economic theory over coke. No wonder the fertility rate in Italy is 1.3.
Mrs RM heads back to I Reale, I decide to tick all the cask outlets. Because they’re there.
Skjuma has cask from its own Undead Brewery,
an obssession with ’80s goth,
and more free crisps. The Milk Stout is an NBSS 3.5. Get it in the GBG now.
Out of duty rather than enthusiasm, I persuade Mrs RM out to “dot” in “trendy” Vanchiglia,
where the clip that attaches the pump clip to the pump is missing.
“dot” is the star of the trip. Cosy, welcoming, a mix of ages, great cask and keg, a wondrous burger,
and a message for the ages;
retiredmartin 
The question is, of course, what kind of coke? That could well explain the birthrate.
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Birthrate. Dang autocorrect.
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I think I can answer that.
They used ‘coke’, as in, the one that comes from coal. They use it as birth control.
(think ‘diaphragm’, only not as flexible) 😉
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Grief that’s ugh.
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“Grief that’s ugh.”
Every so often my attempt at humour takes a wrong turn. 🫠
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“a redemptive afternoon exploring the western half of the city, a half almost entirely ignored by the internet.”
There’s no WiFi or cell coverage?
“ChatGPT had summarised the internet and listed ten (10) highlights, somehow omitting the indoor markets,”
Proof positive that ChatGPT is masculine.
“both the historic fresh food hall visited by Pope John Paul,”
(looks down)
Back before he got his ‘bubble’ I see.
“but the beer range doesn’t match the quality of the foccacia.”
(looks down)
Wait, what? Lagunitas, Murphy’s Stout?
(although their sizes are a bit… odd)
“You’re in the old Roman settlement now (Quadrilatero),”
(looks down)
I can tell by the… four bollards.
(I almost misspelled after ‘boll’) 😉
“and you’ll find the original Bicerin cafe here,”
So, basically, it’s an Irish Coffee, only with hot chocolate instead of whiskey?
“but it’s the Basilica of Saint Mary of Consolation across the road that’s unmissable, unless you’re ChatGPT.”
Blimey. I think that’s where you meet for the rapture.
(impressive!)
“and got OGR, a reinvention of former rail repair depot.”
Is that a skateboard park, with a lie down area in the back?
“and within you find what feels like a hotel lobby, so I had a Peroni, the ultimate hotel lobby beer.”
(slow golf clap)
“I’d just paid £6 for a Peroni; I scoffed the lot.”
Good man!
“A boy meets a girl. They talk economic theory over coke. No wonder the fertility rate in Italy is 1.3.”
Sigh. Sadly, that seems to a ‘thing’ all over these days.
“I decide to tick all the cask outlets. Because they’re there.”
Wa-hey!
“Skjuma has cask from its own Undead Brewery,”
(looks down)
Wait… you had all eight?
“The Milk Stout is an NBSS 3.5. Get it in the GBG now.”
Good luck with that!
(also, if you managed to get that done, poor Si will be dead before he finishes the GBG!)
“Out of duty rather than enthusiasm, I persuade Mrs RM out to “dot” in “trendy” Vanchiglia,”
Even I wouldn’t be enthusiastic after all that drinking!
“where the clip that attaches the pump clip to the pump is missing.”
(looks down)
Hang on. Doesn’t the pump ‘clip’ infer there’s something to clip to?
““dot” is the star of the trip. Cosy, welcoming, a mix of ages, great cask and keg, a wondrous burger,”
(looks down)
Ok, now that’s a SMASH burger!
“and a message for the ages;”
(looks down)
Didn’t that get sent out on one of the deep space probes?
Cheers
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That’s NOT a smash burger ! Though it might have been a smashed burger.
I think only two of the beers on that first board were cask, the others were keg. Or I’d have been stuffed.
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Eh, ‘smash’, ‘smashed’; same diff. (kidding!)
And, the cask/keg thing makes it that much clearer.
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This is why I won’t use AI (other than the bod standard stuff you have to). Missing out markets indeed!
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