NO LARKIN ABOUT, IT’S THE KENTISH HORSE, MARKBEECH

January 2026. Markbeech. Kent.

A last new GBG entry ticked in Kent, not too far from either Kentish Paul or the in-laws.

Sadly, a flying visit to the Kentish Horse at Markbeech, only a mile or so from the legendary Queen’s Arms at Cowden Pound.

It’s also barely half an hour’s walk from Cowden station, though my attempt to visit from Rye was rather doomed to failure.

Four hours and four changes from the Kent border, quicker and cheaper for Simon from York.

British rail pricing is very exciting.

No wonder everyone had driven. A packed car park at 14:45 on Tuesday, all of them, staff included, older than us. Frankly, it’s great to see.

A challenging beer choice,

but Larkins picks itself round here, as Paul noted recently.

It’s a characterful pint, carrying a fair bit of flavour at 3.4%, though even more chilled than Mrs RM’s Guiness 0.0 (yes, she’s started again).

The main trade is a belated gentle folk Christmas party (NOT Kent CAMRA), hats and all, tucked round the back. We’d have had lunch here, too, but we miss last orders by 2 minutes and have to make do with poppadoms in the campervan.

You get the picture. Food led, Old Boys at the bar, proper seating, cheery staff.

I mean, you’d always pick the Queen’s Arms, wouldn’t you ? But that only opens 12 hours a week, the Kentish Horse 76.5. Horses for courses.

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Published by retiredmartin

Retired NHS, doing long walks around UK and the world to record the great bits. Focused on Good Beer Guide pubs and live music.

15 thoughts on “NO LARKIN ABOUT, IT’S THE KENTISH HORSE, MARKBEECH”

  3. “not too far from either Kentish Paul or the in-laws.”

    Is that… a good thing?

    “Four hours and four changes from the Kent border, quicker and cheaper for Simon from York.”

    (checks Google)
    It’s only an hour by car! And, maybe your ticket costs more as you get to spend more time on trains. 😉

    “No wonder everyone had driven. A packed car park at 14:45 on Tuesda”

    14:45, on a Tuesday, by car? They do know that I got pulled over leaving a pub in Abbotsford, BC at 14:30 on a Monday, and was given a breathalyzer test. 😏

    “all of them, staff included, older than us. Frankly, it’s great to see.”

    There’s hope for us in our twilight years!

    “though even more chilled than Mrs RM’s Guiness 0.0 (yes, she’s started again).”

    Their marketing must be amazing.

    “and have to make do with poppadoms in the campervan”

    Oof.

    “You get the picture. Food led, Old Boys at the bar, proper seating, cheery staff.”

    Bliss.

    “Horses forn courses.”

    Or maybe, ‘to each their own’? At least one of those words should have an ‘n’ at the end. 😎

    Cheers

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      1. Good point. We used to do that back in my Uni days when we rented a cargo van and got a dozen of us inside it (on a bare metal floor) to drive across to Buffalo, New York and drink till 4am. We paid someone to drive and copped their non-alcoholic drinks all night.

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      3. “A night of non-alcoholic drinks, all those bubbles, is a night of hell.”

        Our driver was well compensated. The bar in question was the 747 Club. All of the seats were reclining seats from a 747. The waitresses were dressed as stewardesses, in very, very short skirts. It didn’t open till 9pm and closed at 4am. The best thing though, was that it was a flat fee to drink all you wanted. We’d work our way down the ‘fancy drinks’ list; Grasshopper, Black Russian, Between the Sheets, Long Island Iced Teas, etc. We used to stop on the way back to Uni in Hamilton, Ontario and ‘help keep Niagara Falls flowing’, as it were. 😉

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  4. On the rare occasions that I leave The Jolly Fisherman in Hastings it is to get the train to The Rock at Chiddingstone Hoath, and with a tiny amount of moral flexibility, the train fare can be substantially cheaper even if not cheap.
    Buy an advance ticket return from Hastings to London Victoria for about £21 with a Senior Railcard, and then a return from East Croydon to Cowden for about £8.
    The moral flexibility is required because with the London ticket, the traveller is not supposed to alight at any station before Victoria. If you can do that, and sleep easy in your bed, it will save you some money, but please don’t tell Southern Railway what I do.

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      1. Yes, it’s a public service I perform, waking people up by taking photos of them. I’m sure Discourse would welcome my contribution to the “photos in pubs debate” along those lines.

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