FIFTEEN MINUTES, FIFTEEN (15) TICKS LEFT. CARBOST OR BUST.

Today’s Reader of the Day is the mysterious sidspid, who recommends Kirsty MacColl as the soundtrack as I take you down to fifteen remaining ticks.

Blimey, Kirsty was a great songwriter (sometimes let down by tinny production), look at these lines;

There’s Suzy-Ann with her tits and curls
Where mediocrity excels
For those vicious boys and their boring girls
You know it makes me sick but it’s a bozo’s world

Time for a quick update on the road map from Friday afternoon to Sunday evening, I think.

Nobody said it was gonna be easy (or cheap), but this page was going to look very lovely, soon.

It was 19:30 by now, and Mrs RM had been phoning pubs to see if a) they’d be open, b) could we park our campervan in Strathcarron for a small fee and c) would they definitely be open ?

That done, she parked the van outside the Old Inn at Carbost near Loch Harport and ordered me to be quick.

Well, actually she hovered (not a reference to a Blackpool Jane post), as there was no space outside the Inn.

Or inside a pub full of young, straggly escapees from a Waterboys reunion. It looked magnificent; search google for pics yourself.

At the bar, a bloke got out a lighter as if to light his girlfriends fag, only to singe her nostril hairs instead. This really happened.

As did her then putting £32 on her card for a collection of small and brightly coloured liquids. “They’re my first drinks of the say” she said to the barperson. I bet they weren’t.

The barpeople were, as always, sensationally patient and polite, and kindly allowed me to pay in coinage for a half of Skye Red.

Remember kids, NEVER buy cask in Scotland beers on homemade pump clips (NBSS 1.5). No, YOU take it back. Actually, perhaps it IS meant to taste like that.

Sadly, it’s illegal to tip beer in the sea in Scotland. But lochs ? Not so sure.

Anyhow, fifteen left. What can go wrong now ?

19 thoughts on “FIFTEEN MINUTES, FIFTEEN (15) TICKS LEFT. CARBOST OR BUST.

  1. I suppose that a quick singeing would be marginally less painful than eyebrow tweezers, yes.

    Don’t think I’ve ever had a girlfriend with nostril hair, well, not noticeably so anyway.

    They were humans, weren’t they?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ooops. Forgot to mention that when I went there it was very difficult to park even though i was actually staying there
    Sorry your pint wasn’t very good mine were in excellent condition.
    It’s a quirky place but with great atmosphere and brilliant views on a summers day.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m afraid the Old Inn at Carbost is one of those pubs whose location is so spectacular that they *have* to be in the GBG whatever dross they sell.

    You should have taken a plant pot in with you and said, “Here, just pour a half in there for me. Keep the change.”

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh Kirsty was fabulous.

    And can also lay claim a sort of brilliant football song.

    “You should never have kissed me, you tasted of deceit
    Your perfume was Adultery but I’m not a piece of meat
    So I’ll be the one that you couldn’t acquire
    I found out in time you’re a serial liar

    You lied about your status
    You lied about your life
    And I pity your three children
    And I pity your poor wife
    Now you can go to Hell
    I’m going to Brazil
    Still it’s England 2 Colombia 0”

    Liked by 1 person

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