retiredmartin

Yes, that is a Top Ten (10), Dave.

The Lamplighter is your BIG reason to visit Jersey, apart from the excellent Marks & Spencer lingerie department (oops, wrong blog) and the chance to take home a sack of potatoes as an acceptable present.

The route to this Channel Islands classic, cunningly disguised as The Pet Cabin on the map, takes you past another old favourite, but you can’t overdo it on your last night, can you ?

I’d visited the Lamplighter in 1999, and been amazed, and in 20143, and been stunned, even though the beer wasn’t all that. Third time unlucky ?

Well, no, it was astonishing. But reader, I cannot explain why.

It’s NOT the beer range (“wide for Jersey”), but fans of 1995 will love it.

As that popular wrist band from the Noughties said, “WWSD”. What would Simon do ? He’d have the ESB, of course. Even at £5.25.

And tonight it’s NOT the view from the last available table on what looks a quiet Monday everywhere else on the island that does it.

But the noise !

Blokes punch the air and say things like “Life creeps up on you” in a Peter Kay accent.

Women shout about cruises they’ve booked because “what the hell“.

They’re all completely pissed, and I feel completely sober.

I nearly finish the ESB (NBSS 3) and leave for the night, but then a Spanish visitor comes to the bar and has a long chat about gambling addictions with the sympathetic barman.

And I have to stay.

At the bar, I squeeze in between a bloke from Watford and a bloke from Mangotsfield who are trying to drink all the Doom Bar (another 3),

I’ll be honest, I didn’t expect to be discussing Doom Bar outlets in North Herts with a Watford supporter on my last night, or the qualities of Natch (Bristol’s in a can).

And the music. From the pop classics (“How ‘Bout Us“, “Wonderful Tonight“, “Only You“), with the barman seemingly sticking on “Goonies R Good Enough” to take the piss.

And then it happened. That magic moment. The Hollies.

Yes, you get the Noel Edmonds version that had me in tears on Christmas Day (aka my birthday +3) in 1994 at the inlaws.

And now it strikes me. The Lamplighter is a Jersey version of Stanley’s Cask in Wallasey. Or the Artillery Arms in Ramsgate.

Great, chaotic, pubs to experience life in. And if I do finish the GBG, I may make a heroic trip back to the Lamplighter to do the Whisky card for you.

Perhaps.