Excuse the lack of a nice map. I’m typing this at Cornfield Bakery in Thame, listening to Ghostbusters. Which is appropriate as it’s always 1984 in Thame. Ooh, Kids in America now.

North Yorkshire pub No.2 was the Uber Gastro Alice Hawthorn in Nun Monkton.

That’s not the pub above, it’s the motel extension. It was my favourite part.

You might think young BRAPA is spoilt for trad pubs in York, but if he gets his taxi to drive him 5 miles west it’s a minefield of politeness.

We entered via the pantry.

No flat caps here.

And no bar obvious, either, as all we saw were room after room set for elegant dining.

Ah, it’s the smallest room.

The bar was empty, so I had chance to snap the pumps before the World’s Strongest Men pipped us. I think he was lost.

“Half a Landlord, half a Guzzler and two packets of crisps”.

“We don’t sell crisps, Sir”

“What, run out ?”. Mrs RM was crestfallen.

“We don’t SELL crisps”

“What sort of pub doesn’t sell crisps?” wondered Mrs RM.

The sort of pub where drinkers are an irritant and the Guzzler has been sat in the pipes longer at than that Welsh pub with the Prosecco Batman, I guess (look it up yourself).

NB Mrs RM did like the easy listening soundtrack, she says now.


  1. Suppose pork scratchings were out of the question. Unless they were artisan ones, made out of rare breed pigs and rolled between the thighs of dusky maidens.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I remember once the not at all upmarket (and now closed) Cow & Calf in Romiley not selling crisps. But it seems a short-sighted policy – imagine the profit on selling a bag of Pipers at £1.50.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. That’s not strictly true, we had to eat (/give away) hundreds of bags of crisps that went out of date during the first lockdown!

        I think I only ever went in the Cow & Calf once, but passed it on the way to school every day for years beforehand. I don’t recall the crisp situation but do remember thinking the place was a bit odd!


      2. Normal Walkers-type crisps only have a shelf life of a couple of months. For some reason, the upmarket handcooked crisps last considerably longer, but even then no more than six months.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Whereabouts in Romiley is/was the Cow & Calf? My aunt lives in the town, and I stayed at her place during my first term at Salford Uni – due to a shortage of student accommodation.

      Strangely enough, I ended up renting a flat above a butcher’s shop, in Romiley, after I graduated.

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Mudge and Chris M, for the update on the Cow & Calf. My aunt and uncle lived in Barrack Hill, roughly halfway between Gorsey and School Brows. It’s all coming back to me now, although after nearly half a century, it was a little confusing at first.

      Google Maps and Street View came up trumps, and I was able to identify my aunt’s former house and confirm that I had been in the Cow & Calf. From memory, the pub seemed rather cliquey, but I was a rather shy 18-year-old at the time, lacking in social skills, and not very good at mixing.

      It’s a shame that the pub has closed, but when I moved back to Romiley, after graduation, the former Mrs PBT’s (she was just my girlfriend then), and I became regular drinkers at the Friendship Inn. The pub was warm and nice and cosy – unlike our flat!

      Liked by 2 people

    1. You’re spot on !

      Dining pubs would look really odd without handpumps at the bar, even though most gentlefolk will drink wine or soft drinks. It’s an affectation, and with many upmarket pubs open only as long as there’s dining trade it means the cask has to last longer than is sensible. Not always the case, mind.

      Liked by 1 person

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