3 HOURS IN THE FAT CAT

The prescribed time in a UK pub is 27 minutes. It used to be 27.5, but we are in a pandemic and have to take appropriate precautions to minimise infection risk. Of course, table service (boo !!) only increases the time we spend in a pub.

I spent exactly 3 hours at (if not in) Sheffield’s Fat Cat last week, a rare occasion when company, conversation, cask and climate converged. It was wonderful, though I regretted it the next morning. School nights, eh !

ALL THE PUBS IN SHEFFIELD ON FOOT No. 13 – The Fat Cat, Kelham Island

You’ll know where the Fat Cat is by now. I mark it as Point Zero on most of my little maps.

When we moved Oop North that proximity to Kelham‘s treasures was a key factor in choosing our house in Walkley; that and the 75 calories you walk off struggling up the hill from Langsett Road.

And the Fat Cat was the one pub that our children remembered from trips to Kelham’s Industrial Museum where they pressed buttons that went “Whoosh” and jumped through terrifying soft play equipment simulating Sheffield’s steel pressing machinery.

Talking of children, my last visit more than 3 years ago had brought together the (cat’s) creme-de-la-creme of the pub blogging world;

And BRAPA.

That was a great day, in which Roger narrowly beat Simon to the title of “Best Dressed Pub Man” but Richard had the best camera.

But in 2021, having wound my way past the usual Covid obstacles,

I find a new contender for Best Dressed Pub Man.

Yes, it’s smiling Sheffield Hatter, who looks younger than his 45 years every time I see him. I have that effect on people (ask Mrs RM).

“I love your jacket !” was my starting gambit. If this was Beer Twitter it would have been “What hops are in there Mr Hatter ?” and of course we wouldn’t have been in a pub anyway.

Will was very keen to show me how many fingers he has, not coming from the Fens and all.

Or perhaps it was how many points Rotherham would need against Luton to stay up.

We met a couple of mates, one of whom I sort of remembered from Buxton, who were experts on Rotherham’s burgeoning craft scene. Possibly Jeff and Steve, I never was one for names. Top, top company, anyway.

We had a GREAT time, but I should have eaten the “Hat Pnk Smdwick“, and drunk 3 pints of water between each half.

These posts where you drink a lot of beer and have great conversation in the sun should be the easiest to write, but of course they never are, so I invite you to create your own post out of my comprehensive notes;

Kelham Best, Porter, Pale Rider and a couple of others as well. Cool, conditioned, tasty; all NBSS 4 I reckoned, it gets no better. And then it was 3pm and even Will had had enough.

It’s a gorgeous beer garden, of course, and it filled up pretty quickly with folk of all ages over a damp Tuesday lunchtime but the cheery staff coped admirably.

Mrs RM phoned, I forgot to say “Come on down !” and she will never forgive me. But I may, one day, forgive myself.

Published by retiredmartin

Retired NHS, doing long walks around UK and the world to record the great bits. Focused on Good Beer Guide pubs and live music.

22 thoughts on “3 HOURS IN THE FAT CAT”

    1. I never understood this thing about not drinking on school nights, as if a couple of pints down the Old Vic would seriously impair your ability to pour milk on your cornflakes the next morning of something.

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      1. “I never understood this thing about not drinking on school nights” – even dafter than that thing about not drinking on lunchtimes or not drinking with a Smithfield breakfast. ,

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Best dressed maybe, but Mr Hatter is an example to us all in dressing for 1st Lockdown Release.

    Wooly Mitts! The secret to a 3hr wine garden session.

    Layers! As I keep telling the missus, you can take them off, but if you haven’t got them to start with wrapping yourself in newspaper is not a good look.

    Beard! Natch

    Hat!… where’s his hat?

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      1. Should have kept my hat on to avoid the glare off my bald pate when the sun unexpectedly found its way through the clouds, but Martin insisted it was for a good cause.

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  4. Very enjoyable session, but that fifth pint, which I couldn’t really refuse when the Kelham Island Best Bitter came back on, having complained so loudly at its absence, was enough to wipe out the rest of my afternoon.

    Nearly right with the names. It was Jeff (previously met in Buxton two years ago) and Paul. Not present was Steve, aka Fighting Steve, no longer Sheffield-based, who has a small claim to less than six degrees of separation from Boris Johnson: his brother used to be married to the sister of the last woman to divorce Johnson for adultery.

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    1. Having asked you what you wanted and then nipped to the loo to find that Best already delivered, I owe you for that fifth pint 🍻

      I thought all the beer was close to impeccable.

      50% right on names is good for me. You can’t have enough Pauls etc etc

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      1. Maybe it takes longer for the penny to drop with darker beers. I had a Don Valley Gongoozler (oh missus!) at the Blind Monkey this weekend, a stout which appeared to be ok at first but which, within 20 minutes, lost any apparent life it had been given by the tight sparkler. The Roosters London Thunder Porter we both had at the Fat Cat was nothing like that – quality all the way down. This is why its worth the extra effort involved getting back up the hill after going to Kelham Island.

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      3. “appeared to be ok at first but which, within 20 minutes, lost any apparent life it had been given by the tight sparkler” just proves what deceptive devices tight sparklers are.
        Drink it in the normal quarter of an hour and you’d be saying what an inspiring pint it was.

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  7. “Of course, table service (boo !!) only increases the time we spend in a pub.”

    At a pub, not in. 😉

    “I spent exactly 3 hours at (if not in) Sheffield’s Fat Cat”

    LOL… see? 🙂

    “When we moved Oop North that proximity to Kelham‘s treasures was a key factor in choosing our house in Walkley”

    Well done!

    “where they pressed buttons that went “Whoosh” and jumped through terrifying soft play equipment simulating Sheffield’s steel pressing machinery.”

    Sounds like they were preparing for auditions in those obstacle course gameshows on the telly.

    “Talking of children, my last visit more than 3 years ago had brought together the (cat’s) creme-de-la-creme of the pub blogging world;”

    Si does look quite young there. 😉

    “And BRAPA.”

    (slow golf clap)

    “Yes, it’s smiling Sheffield Hatter,”

    Technically, he’s the best dressed, for outside. 😉

    “I have that effect on people (ask Mrs RM).”

    So, what you’re saying is, you look so old that others look younger beside you?

    “Will was very keen to show me how many fingers he has, not coming from the Fens and all.”

    (guffaw)

    “Top, top company, anyway.”

    Indeed!

    “but I should have eaten the “Hat Pnk Smdwick“,”

    Surely the “ItA Beef Smdwick” would have been better?

    “so I invite you to create your own post out of my comprehensive notes;”

    It’s like one of those books where you jump from page to page depending on which word you choose.

    “Mrs RM phoned, I forgot to say “Come on down !” and she will never forgive me. But I may, one day, forgive myself.”

    Oof. Though, in your defense, you were having such a good time I can see why it slipped your mind.

    Cheers

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