You left me in the middle of Barnsley, wondering where the toilets had gone.
No, I didn’t head down Dog Lane; I’m not a savage.
Instead I headed to one of a paltry number of town centre pubs with a garden. Note how Google Maps obscures the photo of William Shakespeare on the Craft Union sign, as taking photos of people is wrong.
Regular readers will know that Craft Union have taken over from Sir Humphrey as the provider of £2 pints to the masses, and where they serve cask they do it very well.
Their pubs are clean and cosy, and if they have one downside it’s that the people who use them aren’t the sort of people the camras want to drink with.
They look a bit bare without blokes shouting “George Field !” (don’t ask, I don’t know why), and it’s an assault course to reach the garden when you’ve had six pints.
But the rectangular garden is a joy, and I forget for a brief moment I’m in an enclosed space with 56 boozed-up blokes in the Covid capital of the North.
Yea, I will fear no evil, as a pint of John Smiths Smooth for £1.90 can defeat all viruses.
My fifth pint of Smooth since the Glorious 12th, and the best yet. Who needs CAMRA ?
On my way in I’d spied a Doom Bar pump, and look closely and see how the Shakespeare makes excellent use of old Purity barrels, so this may be a future GBG entry in a parallel universe.
But in the John’s capital of the world (or it was in the ’90s), the Pride of Burton brewing now reigns. Carling not Worthington White Shield, obvs.
A chap tells me he’s been there since 11am, which by my watch (Argos £44.99) is 6 hours.
“Gotta make the most of it” he says, and I nod, sagely.
On the way out, I spot the bunny, and with Greta in the news that afternoon I realise the potential for a topical photo.
“Oi, who you taking a photo of ?” ask the barmaid. Have I been nabbed ?
“Only the bunny, do you want to see ?“
She believes me.