ON A BLADDER LEASH

Before we start Part V of The Glorious 12th (there’s only six parts), here’s a request I just found in my Comments box. Hopefully one of you can help the mysterious “how to make cbd oil with no thc” (that’s an anagram of Dobbie).

Alternatively, if you are Max Stevens, you’re in demand.

You left me with Mrs RM and BRAPA. At least one of them is “Precious Cargo”. My AYGO is rather precious, too, and I was pleased to be able to get back and drop Simon at the Sheffield Tap before any leakages.

Frankly, despite sticking to the non-alcoholic beers and avoiding coffees it was me who was struggling.

There’s just not enough public toilets about. And by public toilets I don’t mean the boundary post between Sheffield and Sheffield.
I mean the McDonalds and Wetherspoons and Greene King diners you used to be able to nip in at will (obviously the actual public toilets are closed as council divert funding to more essential services like vegan crochet classes).

I thought the queues were for loos but it turned out they were just for Turkish barbers.

So I pressed on, west of town, to a third Spoons of the day, which was bound to have a big toilet. It was packed with students, and I wasn’t joining a queue.

Thankfully, the council has gifted us small, discrete woods purely for the purpose of providing relief for pub tickers; Simon actually remembers this one from his own visit.

The first two days of (relative) freedom have seen the streets packed with youths with strong bladders. Us Old Codgers will find the combination of weaker bladder, excess beer and the cold a recipe for some distress, I fear.

12 thoughts on “ON A BLADDER LEASH

    1. I was having a long chat with a pub man in the Closed Shop in Sheff yesterday. First 3 pints OK then you need to go 3 times for every pint. FAR worse if you mix in coffee or coke between beers.

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  1. maybe do what most of the CAMRAs do
    adult diapers
    most don’t admit it but a life of hard strong bitter abuse has left them with wrecked health
    they are all on the adult diapers

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  2. This made me laugh -my husband is lucky & still seems to have a bladder of steel -on the other hand,I am the one who nips into Spoons -pretends to look for the friend who doesn’t exist & slyly nips into the loo & the time I had a sneaky wazz on a golf course is best forgotten

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  3. Pee-pee issues are standard and yet another sign that nature is healing, but riddle me this? How come it’s that third ‘pint’ before the sluice gates open, and yet just the one ‘can’ of Oakham T90 Citra can induce tinkle-time in the safety of home. Strong hopping seems to be the cause that affects my sprinkler, which explains the Doom Bar preference I guess. I’m fighting it, but the direction of flow is innevitable it seems…

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    1. These are the big issues of our time, Mark. I remember driving young BRAPA around the Amber Valley; we were 100 yards out of the pub car park when he needed to stop for a wee. Luckily we were only half a mile from a pub. Where he had another pint.

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      1. The terrible Pub-Pint-Pee-Pub-Pee-Pint-Pee-Pub-Pee-Pint-Pee-Pee-Pee… conundrum.

        I used a hedge yesterday in Oakham, over a fence, very secluded, most welcome and probably worthy of its own blog post.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. “Before we start Part V of The Glorious 12th (there’s only six parts)”

    BRAPA has rubbed off on you. 😉

    “and I was pleased to be able to get back and drop Simon at the Sheffield Tap before any leakages.”

    Said ‘leakages’ would have been from Simon I take it.

    “There’s just not enough public toilets about. ”

    Singing my some there. That’s why I jokingly wrote about ‘skip to the loo’. I wasn’t referring to the song, but this:

    https://skip-to-the-loo.com

    Every city should have one of those!

    “(obviously the actual public toilets are closed as council divert funding to more essential services like vegan crochet classes).”

    I didn’t know vegans could be made into scarves and the like!

    “I thought the queues were for loos ”

    If your bladder is like mine (or poor Si’s) I’d think you’d lose if there were queues for the loos.

    “and I wasn’t joining a queue.”

    Good man!
    (plant pots are more than for just duff half pints ya know)

    “Thankfully, the council has gifted us small, discrete woods purely for the purpose of providing relief for pub tickers”

    Maybe not pots, but plants at least. 🙂

    “Us Old Codgers will find the combination of weaker bladder, excess beer and the cold a recipe for some distress, I fear.”

    You have my deepest sympathies.

    Cheers

    Liked by 1 person

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