LOCKDOWN

You left me on Platform 9 at Kings Cross. The National Rail website told me the 15:42 would be packed; it was a third full.

By a miracle I managed to leave the train at Waterbeach, otherwise I’d have been back in King’s Lynn wondering where my house had gone.

As you can see, I was in rude health, 22.08km having burnt off nearly half the calories in those seven pubs;

Judging by my photos, things were a bit wobbly by then,

but I’d clearly sobered up in the two minutes it takes to reach the church,

where I unsuccessfully tried to order my Crispy Shredded Beef, so I did that at Chung Hwa instead.

Even though it had only just opened, I knew I’d have to wait 20 minutes (it’s cooked fresh, that’s why it’s the best Chinese takeaway in the UK), so I had to find somewhere to sit.

Ah.

So, I got a gorgeous pint of Justinian (NBSS 3.5) from the brewery over the field for me as my final pre-Lockdown beer, and I lived to regret that, too.

Mrs RM was surprised to see me home by 5.20. I think she expected me to have done all 21 London pubs.

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And then the plate smashed…

“You’re drunk ! GO TO BED !” she screamed. She is horrible to me.

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Published by retiredmartin

Retired NHS, doing long walks around UK and the world to record the great bits. Focused on Good Beer Guide pubs and live music.

23 thoughts on “LOCKDOWN”

  1. Ha! You finished in the Greek style then. Coincidentally, I smashed my Faggot & Peas plate this evening with a skillfully dropped Salt Grinder. I put it down to fatigue rather than drunkeness as I wasn’t drunk. Plates, along with Crispy Shredded Beef, are transitory things which should never be mourned, a useful point I always use at times like these…

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      1. Makes me wonder just how ‘crispy/crunchy’ the beef was after this mishap, or was Martin sent to bed without his supper? Again? I must say, I find some Greek food just a smidgen more ‘transitory’ than I’d like.

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      3. “Computer leads!”… [shuffles notes]… [adjusts wig]… [peers above reading glasses]… “Well, you ‘would’ say that, wouldn’t you Mr [checks notes] Martin!”

        “I call my first witness. Mrs Chung, please take the stand…”

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    1. T’other Paul.
      Some wives are suspicious if one returns home after only a gallon.
      And suspicious if one arrives home by 5.20pm.

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      4. Scott,
        I’ve had cask Vintage Ale in the Doric Arch.
        I was lucky as the barman didn’t know it wasn’t meant to be sold in pints, the till only recognised halves of it and he didn’t think to charge me for two drinks.

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  5. “As you can see, I was in rude health”

    I’m a big fan of rude health. 😉

    “where I unsuccessfully tried to order my Crispy Shredded Beef”

    Mistook it for the Tower of London?
    (ya know… Beef-eaters)

    “so I had to find somewhere to sit.”

    (slow golf clap)

    Slight aside: I used to do something similar with my dear old dad when I used to visit him and my dear old mum every year. We’d tell mum we were going to walk up and order pizza for dinner. Had to wait the 20 minutes (like you) and it was right beside a (Canadian style) pub. Good times. 🙂

    “I think she expected me to have done all 21 London pubs.”

    I’m sure if Mrs RM had been there with you, she would have been game! 🙂

    “And then the plate smashed…”

    Yikes! Oh, wait. This was the one you foreshadowed to us in an earlier post. Denby I do believe?

    And yes, after 8 pints (before 6pm no less!) I would be definitely more than tipsy. 🙂

    Cheers

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      1. Mostly yes, but it had some semblance of Brit style. Sadly, you can’t Google it today as it is now a Roosters Restaurant and Lounge — presumably owned by some very shady Jamaicans who seem to always be in trouble with the law. 😉

        Cheers

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