CAN’T TOUCH DISS

Yes, it’s time to “clear Norfolk“, as us expert tickers say.

A first visit to Diss since the world was a simpler, happier place. Just beyond Star Wing, pleasingly. You’ll know you’ve arrived from the accents.

Now Diss is famous for two things. The sausage rolls at D.A, Browne & Son,

and the big pool of water in the centre of town that is The Mere.

Oh, and the famous “Boy with an 11mph volley” whose Peter Lorimer style antics at the top of St. Nicholas Street fell foul of the parish council last year.

St Nicholas is the star of a pleasant run of buildings in a pleasingly plain and useful High Street, which is bustling.

The word for the day is “Detailing“, which at least here is professional.

Your new Guide pub looks so striking you wonder how you missed it before, and what the Saracen’s Head has done to gain elevation to the Guide.

Hello ! How are we ?” says the Landlady. Perhaps it’s the welcome.

It could be a range of 27 microbrews, but if so they’re well hid behind an unflattering sheet of perspex.

It’s Wherry or Ghost Ship, if it’s the ales you’re after“. Can she tell I’m a CAMRA ?

Wherry, of course; that way you avoid the abomination of an Adnams glass.

Two blokes armed with Good Beer Guides come in and order halves of Ghost Ship and complain about the GBG App. I contemplate joining their conversation but it never pays to out yourself as a ticker.

The Landlady put the Wherry on the bar, walks through about 3 doors, collects the glass on the other side and moves it the six feet to my table.

That’s clever” I say, for something to say.

I could have collected it myself but then the “R” rate would have increased by 0.00347 and that won’t do.

The Wherry is cool and foamy, and almost makes you remember when Wodfordes beers were as well-regarded as Titanic beers are now (NBSS 3.5).

Blokes come and go, the bulk of the trade is under cover in the garden, perhaps escaping the strains of “The Greatest Love of All“, perhaps keeping the swearing out of earshot of gentlefolk diners and sensitive tickers in the bar.

I loved it. Almost as much as the artisan sausage rolls, one of which made it home intact. Two didn’t.

10 thoughts on “CAN’T TOUCH DISS

  1. I can’t help thinking the good citizens of Diss get awfully tired of all the puns (your excellent blog title excepted of course!).

    That exterior lantern sure is lovely.

    Do you often get the person behind the bar making an “if it’s the ales you’re after” comment? I mean come on, us mid-50s guys could be just as enamored with the grapefruit murk as the 20-something beardies! 😉

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    1. Diss don’t help themselves. They’re twinned with Dat (Germany)*

      I guess lager and wine drinkers know EXACTLY what they want, while ale drinkers like to dither by the pumps. Or do you see Americans staring blankly at the big label lagers and going “Mmm, no Pabst, what to do ?”.
      .
      .
      .

      *Not really.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s an interesting question. I think Americans probably divide pretty sharply between those who are looking for Bud Light or something in that area and those who are more adventurous. But probably a good many of us (me included) will move back and forth, enjoying a bottle of Corona on occasion if that’s what’s available. (I kind of draw the line at Bud though!)

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    2. Mark, you mean, “As you approach the town, Diss appears,” but all joking aside, it’s a nice town, as evidenced by Martin’s photos and write-up.

      Diss has also got its own railway station on the London-Norwich mainline, and that mere, right in the centre of the town, is pretty unusual; especially for eastern England.

      ps. I think that exterior lantern is from Norwich Brewery; successor to Watney’s in that part of the world. Stafford Paul would know, for sure.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. T’other Paul,
        Yes, it’s from Watneys could no longer call themselves Watneys and so they looked back in the archives and brought back the names of breweries they’d decimated. 1844 probably being a random date as Morgans was from 1720, Steward and Patterson 1793, Youngs, Crawshays 1807 and Bullards 1837

        Liked by 1 person

  2. “CAN’T TOUCH DISS”

    I thought you were referring to the Roman god of the underworld.

    “You’ll know you’ve arrived from the accents.”

    They fancy up their walls or interiors?

    “The sausage rolls at D.A, Browne & Son,”

    So, why do they have a picture of a non-pig above the door?

    “and the big pool of water in the centre of town that is The Mere.”

    Pretty sure that’s an ‘accent’. 😉

    “The word for the day is “Detailing“, ”

    In other words… accent. 🙂

    “and what the Saracen’s Head has done to gain elevation to the Guide.”

    Obviously they’re ‘head’ and shoulders above the rest.

    “It could be a range of 27 microbrews, but if so they’re well hid behind an unflattering sheet of perspex.”

    Fer… Dis sake!

    “Can she tell I’m a CAMRA ?”

    I plead the 5th. 🙂

    “I could have collected it myself but then the “R” rate would have increased by 0.00347 and that won’t do.”

    The R for flu is probably higher than Covid right about now. 😉

    “I loved it. Almost as much as the artisan sausage rolls, one of which made it home intact. Two didn’t.”

    Yes, yes… but did the one that made it home intact happen to roll off and break yet another Denby dish? 😉

    Cheers

    Like

    1. The R for stupidity is running above 3 now.

      No, these sausage rolls made it home before the Wednesday night Denby incident, and were served expertly with homemade chips and aubergine stir fry while sober.

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      1. “No, these sausage rolls made it home before the Wednesday night Denby incident, and were served expertly with homemade chips and aubergine stir fry while sober.”

        And then you sat around in your underpants drinking that StarWing keg? 😉

        Cheers

        Liked by 1 person

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