FRESHERS

I hadn’t realised I was in the middle of Freshers Week.

For a start, Freshers Week had apparently been “cancelled” for some woke transgression or other.

But then, who believes a word that Sky News (or the BBC) says. Best get all your news off BRAPA, I reckon.

Matt and his flatmates had just had their move to Ancoats put on hold due to some essential work that hadn’t even been tendered yet, probably the removal of mummified kebabs from the loft or something.

So they were making Monday a Proper Night of it, with Font the next target.

Don’t join queues, Matt

The queue down Great Wakefield Street to Font, or Sub Control, or possibly a secret “comfort stop” behind Oxford Street Station, looked scary.

Scary alley

Presumably the students just installed in the new “Jenga” block that replaced Sound Control (sob)

Jenga

hadn’t got the memo cancelling all nightlife in the city.

We weren’t joining queues. That’s how you catch Covid.

Luckily, under the arches, there is a light that never goes out.

Oh no, not the Salisbury“, said someone in our household group. Probably a girl. The Salisbury has the same reputation in Manchester student-land as the King Street Run in Cambridge or McCann’s Ale House in Newport.

But they had space, they had tat, they had Theakston Old Peculier on the bar, and I knew I’d get some banter for my blog 3 pints in.

We discussed the legacy of The Stone Roses and their conspiracy theorist of a lead singer.

“Ian Brown has a smackable face, dunnie ?

We discussed the best era for music (it’s 2020).

“Choruses are out at the moment”

We discussed the role of Jamie Oliver in banning turkey twizzlers (“****”).

Just as well the bants was good, as the beer may have tested the patience of even Mark Crilley. BRAPA wasn’t won over by the Salisbury in 2016, but then he’d just met me so was probably starstruck.

I’m cutting some slack for a pub with the Manchester Egg and a Gents built entirely from pages from Viz.

A lively pub, but at 9.30 everyone was seated, Track and Trace rigidly enforced, and no-one was singing Oasis choruses.

Shut down pubs again and they’ll all just go back to each others flats and exchange bodily fluids; then watch your blessed R rate soar, eh ?

10 thoughts on “FRESHERS

  1. There are many people who still haven’t forgiven Jamie Oliver for his role in banning turkey twizzlers. I’m not one of them, before you ask!

    Love the “clippings” from Viz, btw.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. First off, a most excellent black and white top photo. (thumbs up)

    “But then, who believes a word that Sky News (or the BBC)”

    Not to mention the Canadian version; CBC. 😉

    “Don’t join queues, Matt”

    Queues? You mean like… Q-Anon? 🙂

    “or possibly a secret “comfort stop” behind Oxford Street Station”

    Aye, aye. (does ‘comfort shop’ mean the same thing over there?)

    “Scary alley”

    Are they getting ready for Halloween?

    “just installed in the new “Jenga” block”

    Or even Tetris!

    “We weren’t joining queues. That’s how you catch Covid.”

    Hang on. I have folks queuing at my lunch truck a half dozen times daily since this all started and I still haven’t caught Covid (frowns).

    “they had Theakston Old Peculier on the bar”

    Ooooooh. That brings back memories.

    “BRAPA wasn’t won over by the Salisbury in 2016, but then he’d just met me so was probably starstruck.”

    (slow golf clap)

    “Shut down pubs again and they’ll all just go back to each others flats and exchange bodily fluids”

    I’m guessing that refers to spit… since they’ll be yelling at each other after being cooped up for so long. 😉

    Cheers!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. “Comfort stop and comfort shop are VERY different things.”

        Whoops! My bad. Read that as a comfort shop. 😉

        And yes, perused BRAPA meeting you. Personally I think it was him dropping the glasses and breaking them in his excitement. 🙂

        Cheers

        Like

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